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Haunting Me

 

Remedy cannot reach

inside opiate realities

 

as midnight

finds me fallen

within fragile flesh

 

for comfort cannot

inject into weary veins

 

where all that remains

are ghosts of who

once was

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Pic Option #1
http://freaky665.deviantart.com/art/Infected-103018975
30 words

(I've been struggling lately with the reality that I will never again be the person I once was due to the weight of this pain disorder.. sigh..)

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 72 of 72

  • Ken-Maverick
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    I was only there last month...
    hope things work out
    feeling ya on this one.

    Ken


  • Rclane gold member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent take on the prompt and so worth the Gold.


  • sheltered
    December 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is erotic too
    damn, must be just me
    i need to get laid bad

    congrats


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      December 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      LMAO.. well I'm glad you skipped past my write Indulgent then or we'd be in real trouble!!!

      Thankies


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This one made me feel...I loved the words you poured out of your soul here. Perfect with the pic. You are so amazing!


  • Valley Girl silver member
    December 2, 2008

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    Wow hun! So personal and full of pain. You have really done an outstanding job with this piece! congratulations on the Gold!


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow, Sad & beautiful...

    So much said in so few words...
    And what words!!!
    So beautifully crafted as to leave me speechless & contemplative...
    Well done!!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sis,
    this is beautiful and amazing...it is hard when we have something change who we once were...but you are so strong and lovely I know you shall over come and I am sorry for the pain...I really understand...
    Congrat's on the well deserved Gold...


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    November 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    AMAZING SIS!!! This is PERFECT for this pic...such a well deserved gold!


    Az


  • stavykm gold member
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent & So True

    Congradulations on the Gold. Very well deserved. Excellent choice in words for the poem of only 30. You are amazing. So sis when are you going to write that book.
    Love Ya
    Kelle


  • cre8tiv-writer
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Incredible picture and riveting poem!!!


  • rbruce gold member
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I wish i had a valid reason for not being the person I once was, I guess I'll just blame the passing of time. Agreat write and a worthy winner of the gold.


  • my.stars.dont.shine
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the gold! <3 The last stanza would have to be my favorite. Fantastic, as usual. =)


  • aboomer silver member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great wording - well deserving of Gold - Congrats!
    I especially like,

    'where all that remains
    are ghosts of who
    I once was'....
    ....something I think many can relate to!

    Well done!

    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      November 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks hun, yes I"m sure this is true of many, something I need to remind myself of constantly so I don't indulge in any Pity Parties!!

      • aboomer silver member
        November 16, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        oohhhh - pity parties! invite me!!!!
        I'll bring cookies, maybe someone else will bring some pina coladas!!!
        Yeah Pity Party!


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww ... I'm starting to believe we make our own realities hun. The seemingly impossible may be reversible, not to instill false hope, but insert some reverse-roled reality, for cures or solutions to varied situations are found everyday.

    Outside that, the title for this poem is very fitting .. and personal, as you write tremendously from experience and emotion. All that I have expected from your talented pen/keyboard.

    ... and yes, golden.



    s~w


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      November 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks hun .. been doing a few medicated madness writes lately lol


  • splinteroflight.
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    :)

    love it, your ability to say so much in so few words is incredible!
    keep writing
    <3<3<3


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    While I see many comments below have glossed over with a wonderful write. You'll have to put up with me delving a little deeper in my comment. Sorry! There is such a pain in these words which palpitated with every word, a sore realisation that somethings might never change. I can't imagine the pain you go through every day but my dear sis you do it with such grace and style that only those who delve deep enough or have experienced will ever understand. Could I wave my magic wand and make it vanish. I would have done so. Love to you


  • MermaidSinging68
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    love it

    You say so much in so few words. Beautiful...love it! And I'm not hearing any awkwardness at all...it flows nicely.


  • The Gambler
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a sad poem but I certainly see why it is wearing a gold cup. Your mind is amazing.

    P.


  • Keyser Soze
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'fragile flesh' speaks volumes hon, bravo. I always told you you were a writer
    I have two words for you:
    quantum healing.


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow...what a powerful piece! no wonder you recieved gold


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the gold!!

    Woot! Awesome take hunni, I love that pic but love your write more! Nothing wrong with a medicated view on things, can be the spice of life Beautifully done, congrats on the golden attire


  • faderman1959
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such an insightful and personal poem! This stanza says so much! It just reaches out and pulls the reader in. Excellent! Congrats on the gold!

    as midnight
    finds me fallen
    within fragile flesh


  • Abe 1
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    fab darlin
    well done on yr gold
    beats me down
    cheers abe


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I knew this was gold as soon as I started reading the first line hun, congrats!


    Love,
    mj.


  • notorious
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I'm bored

  • notorious
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Is it just me, or is the main girl in the picture (the one in color) NOT hot at all? LoL...the spirits in the b/g are better-looking.

    Anyways, as soon as I read this and before I read your AN, I had a feeling this was personal.

    Mostly because of the words 'remedy' and 'opiate' (I haven't seen you you use this word in a while I don't think, so ).

    "for comfort cannot
    inject into weary veins"
    Love 'weary'; it makes human anatomy feel...well, weary. It's an effective word choice, is what I'm trying to say...

    "where all that remains
    are ghosts of who
    I once was"
    That is a really killahhh ending; it's haunting, depressing, but might I add...NOT true.

    You're still corporeal and awesome.

    Really good expression here & another writeeeee for your Coloured Medicated Madness list.

    MAZEL TOV on the gold


    Jessica

    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      November 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Not hot at all I totally agree lol

      Thanks for saying that's not true

      Woot for the Coloured Medicated Madness list


  • Pure Thought silver member
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nothing but gold.


  • Rclane gold member
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent take on the prompt and very well penned. Congrats on the Gold.


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I `Applaud you

    For your Courage and strength every day you get up and are a funtioning Vibrant Young Women, your awesome and most of all your Loved, your talent Is blessed!

    Hugs


    Rend


  • buffsab99
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Excellent expression of your feelings. My heart weights heavy thinking about the suffering you must go through. Remember no matter what you are the same person in your soul and she is an amazing woman


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this one is a very personal write.. and coping with such thing as a pain disorder I can see why you feel this way. the last 5 lines tore at my heart a lot.. your take on the prompt is heart wrenching and this brought me to tears.

    good luck
    kat


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was something, i mean really something, you did a great job on this, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    my sweet friend..

    I hate reading your pieces that are based on your real life struggles, because it makes me realize how helpless I am to help you..except offer a prayer. I wish you well, and as far as the piece goes, as usual it's exceptional.


  • JinSays gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Remedy cannot reach

    inside opiate realities


    Done
    You're the best my sistergirl.
    You really blow me away.
    Love,
    jin


  • Alyzeh
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent write! I loved it! You have done a tremendous job with this one!


  • luna-midnight gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwwww this is powerful and wonderful. great poem and good luck.
    take care, ♥


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is incredible sis!
    Lovely work here and good luck
    to you in this contest!




    Jeremy0826


  • thejollytinker
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I'm sending the whole damned Mayo Clinic's roster of egg-headed genuises to New by-gosh Zealand.  Might send the entire state of Minnesota, 10,000 lakes and all.  I'm almost as scary as Kate when I'm pissed-  

     

    What a wonderful take- you is a writer, pearl!


  • Xianaria gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    where all that remains
    are ghosts of who
    I once was

    ~ nicely done, the emotions in this come through quite vividly.

  • Bob Fox
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Poet

    Once upon a time . But so very long ago. But the heart matters most. If we can truly be honest to it then we still can be. I love the picture and the mind.

  • Uglyblackdog
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Incredible write!!

    Excellent write Jackie..I really feel this..very vivid


  • DolceVito gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Just an awesome write, amazing take on the prompt. Great job, as usual.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great love the take on the prompt that you have done thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest be well


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    amazing take on the pic,
    gold for sure, best of luck mia bella


    Tasha


  • KayJay
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful in form and meaning... You always capture the sparkling meanings held within these images... and bring them out to shine... Excellent!
    Ken


  • Amera gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Looking at the picture, this is brilliant! You added depth and emotion where there was none. I got feeling from each and every line. Standing ovations!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Death of the Author
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh yes...this is really good.


  • nancy drew
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh this is sad. best one i've read so far!

    helen~

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