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Take Me By the Hand

I am laying on top of a rocky edge,
I have these flowers in my hand.

I am laying here for the world to see,
I can not got on,
without you here by my side.

We promised,
we would be by each others side,
till the world ends.

Now that you are gone,
I see no more reason to go on,
without you by my side.

I have said all I needed to say.

Now please take me away,
take me away with you,
to the highest mountain,
forever together,
again.

Author notes

I chose option 2 for this contest

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    November 10

    Edit | Reply
    Hm.. the ending was very strong and I liked this wrong.

    One suggestion might be not to tell me what your guys love is about, but to show me with metaphors and other dress ups. I was just told.

    It was sweet though, thanks for entering.

    6/10

    - Blue- beauty


  • Timeless Wisdom silver member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww...this made me want to cry Because I can relate to it so powerfully...it is just so amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this and bravo!

    ASM
    AKA Raymond


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is achingly beautiful, makes my heart spped up, it paints it paints an incredible picture of heartbreak and desolation
    I am laying here for the world to see
    I cannot go on
    Without you here by my side
    Such a stunning write amazing


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is an interesting structure you chose....
    we could HEAR...the tender heart break and longing...
    I may have changed the ending.....
    to Please I pray, uplift me, take me with you...
    to the highest mountain, forever more,
    no longer lost ,
    without you.

    interesting structure you have here in this poem,
    well done poet, quickie's are tough contests,
    and truly released your ink and soul!
    ears/Seattle



  • chilali
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You forgot to credit the artist in your AN. Please do that immediately Thank you.


  • chilali
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I have song lyrics with the same title Hehe. I love your take on the prompt. Not only did you write this well. It appealed to me more because I can relate to this. It is sad and beautiful as well. Thank you so very much for entering and good luck


  • Canadamomma
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wonderfully penned; best of luck in the contest


  • Still Standing gold member
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done. YOu did a beautiful take on the picture prompt...I assume your are doing option 2 (you should write that in your author's note). But I think it's really pretty. When we lose someone we truly love sometimes we just want to go with them and be with them. Very well done!


  • Emms17
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oooo I like it


  • eternalsol
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    awwww

    this ia a beautiful poem nicely done

1 - 10 of 10