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Stumble To My Senses

I.
The brush of your lips
against my cheek makes
me shiver thinking soon
ends will meet.

II.
The taste of your kiss as
it briefly brushes my mouth

so sweet yet terrifying.

III.
The intoxicating smell of
your cologne lingers within
my memory.

IV.
The mellifluous voice you
posess soothes my soul and
opens my heart.

Oh,how you cloud my senses

Author notes

This is a poem i wrote awhile ago its not that good.

I dont usually write love/happy poems.

A contest entry

comments/advice appreciated

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • written-in-ink
    November 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    love it

    very cute

    and capturing
    =]]


  • cellardoor
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    its not bad at all

    just ensure you check your spelling and this is just my opinion: but maybe you should rethink repeating the word "lips" in the 1st and 2nd stanza's. otherwise it was really nice.


    • stargazer.
      November 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      yeah i dont like usually the same words i changed it to the word "mouth" but im not that sure about it may change later


      • cellardoor
        November 11, 2008
        Edit | Reply

        i reread it

        it works beautifully. its honest and fresh.
        well done