When I look at you,
I remember what you did.
When I look at you,
my eyes are full of rage.
When I look at you,
I start making plans.
When I look at you,
the only one I bare to see is you.
Now that happens every time,
I see you in my eyes full of rage.
Your life will now become a living hell.
So when you see me glaring at you,
you definitely need to watch out,
when it happens it will come out of no where,
what you don't know,
when you see me you better watch out.
A contest entry
- Angry Anyone?? by A-Daisy-Among-Roses.
900 points, ended December 6, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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ummmmm.... I can see what you were aiming for but it seems very juvenile. It reminds me of the movie " Meet the Parents" where the dad tells Greg that he will always be watching him.
It starts out good, I like the repition of " When I look at you". The ending really does nothing for the poem. I can feel the tip of what emotion you were trying to portray but I want to feel more. A poem is suppose to consume a person with emotion.
This has potential, take another look at it, and put more time and feel into it.
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