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Two Years to The day

Two Years to The day and I'm crying again
the sky, blue and beautiful let out a longing sigh
gust wind of cold fresh air..
"I miss you"
like the irony of my position in this life..
I feel you..
like an old florescent light, flickers in the dark for just a second..
and dark again..
I know your there why wont you leave me?
let me go,I suffer this way
the grave stone reads your name,my heart reads your soul..
u are a part of me
once physically
now metaphorically
still in my heart
and forever

two years to the day and I'm still longing for you
how could I be in love with a ghost?
uncertian if I'm still holding on
or you held me to you

in your warm and loveing embrace

I pray God forbid I manafest your memory

into what I enjoy the most...

the sky, blue and beautiful where I look up at you

and that I live

and suffer

and believe 

Alone

 

Because it was two years to the day that my heart ached for you

just to touch you

to hold you

just to see your face once again

for one last time

for my sake

"I miss you"

Author notes

To Youssef...  Died 18/11/06 i miss him

 i wrote this for the anniversary of this death two years ago next week..

God let hiz soul rest in peace

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • ladyhelenaofsorrows
    November 23, 2008

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    just lovely

    this is such a beautiful write....
    although, you cosistently have 'i' instead of "I", and in the first stanza, i believe you meant " You are a part of me", rather than "u are apart of me". with just a little fine tuning, this would become even more brilliant, as it would be more readable.


    • Internal Struggle
      November 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for the help i made the corrections... and im very glad u liked it...

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    November 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your most heart spoken entry, Josie

  • Priya1989
    November 16, 2008

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    hi

    i think this poem is wonderful and has great potential.

    perhaps if you fixed it up a little on the minor points (ie stranza structure, use of capital letters apporpirately, punctuation, etc etc)

    but the idea is so sad i am so sorry for your loss.

    i love the repeated refrain of 'i miss you' i feel the emotions raw in this poem. i think we should write from our experience, because it truly makes our writing more beautiful and palpable to the reader.

    and i like the idea of two years ago to the day. it kind of flows off the tongue. and obviously is vry pertinent to you.

    please keep writing, and best of luck.


  • x Schmetterling x
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautiful poem, it really touched me and made me feel your loss and love.

    "like an old florescent light, flickers in the dark for just a second..
    and dark again.." I could really connect with this part as i kno what it feels like.

    "the grave stone reads your name,my heart reads your soul.." beautiful.

    Love your work


  • YOtta
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You talk of despair and embracing what was once so dear now gone; You take me back and forth through your thoughts.

    I feel abandoned and within seconds warm
    when you mention him close.
    Then strangled again
    when he’s only a ghost.
    Even though
    you’ve fought to let go.
    Fate has a way of
    letting you know…

    he’s here to look over you Janie.
    Embrace it as a gift, not a curse.

    See what you made me write?
    All provoked from you swirling emotions and intense feelings.

    Try to center your poem in the middle, I think it’ll fit better that way.

    Truly emotional piece.
    May god bless him as he rests in his grave;
    And for your soul to empower and save.

  • shorty91684
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    it was beautiful...


  • Justmenow
    November 11, 2008

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    wow, it's so beautiful, so sad and beautiful and i completely understand where you are coming from, i love this piece to bits, 'how can i be in love with a ghost' wow, you're so right, i hope you're feeling a bit better now and everything went past as easily as possible for you, well done on an awesome write.


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so very sad
    I am sorry for your loss
    this is lovely soulful write
    very beautufully done
    God bless you my friend...

1 - 9 of 9