Loss and gain are phenomena of finite.
Infinity has no beginning, no end
so it neither can gain nor lose.
In all aspects of our life
when we limit ourselves loss begins.
If we have only self interest
any gain by others will be loss to us.
Now let us bring a change in our thinking,
break all boundaries, finiteness, limits.
If everybody is happy I shall be happy automatically.
So I lose my individuality of enjoyment, existence.
I am so and so is not required to be alive and happy.
By discarding ego we lose our identity,
but look at the gain we enjoy in that process.
Gain of anybody will then be my gain.
If I have pain so also everybody will have the same.
***
Author notes
Prompt: 9. "A moment's pain for a lifetime's pleasure." -- "The Tide is High" by Blondie.
A contest entry
- Loss, gain, and change (Philosophy) by SoulfulBubbles.
400 points, ended January 24, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt Contest (B-3) by OhNoChastity.
1400 points, ended September 21, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Hmmm.... to be honest, I really don't think this applies to the prompt too well. Yes, pain is brought up in the poem and even the loss vs. gain aspect, but the prompt is about pain bringing pleasure, and I saw nothing of this in your poem at all. Interestingly enough, your title is almost a paraphrase of the prompt, but you write about LOSS and GAIN, which really, are two very different things.
I did, however, find your poem very interesting. I read each line carefully and thought about the meaning behind it. What you are saying struck me, and I may or may not agree -- that is beside the point. You wrote about your take on the world, and that is what makes a poem interesting. I definitely felt like I had taken a chunk of your mind for my own, and was not just reading words but instead well-rounded opinions made into fact. This is very philosophical ---
which brings me to some problems I have with this poem. For one thing... the only thing that makes this a poem is the form. If you were to take away the line breaks that separate every sentence half, it would not be a poem at all but prose. Also, the tone is very dogmatic, which is how a philosophical piece is supposed to be but I wouldn't neccessarily apply that poetry. This feels like a lecture in prose rather than a poem. I see very little literary device in this. Do not take this critique too offensively, what you have written is very good, I just believe it would work better in a different form.
My favourite line is "by discarding ego we lose our identity." This is without a doubt a thought inspiring line, and I like it and agree with it. Is this true? Perhaps. Is it fact? Maybe. Or it could depend on the person, but I am not considering the power of ego in a specific person. Whether or not I agree is not the point, but merely the fact that inspired me to disagree is what makes this line, and this poem special.
Thank you for entering, and I hope to see more from you. Keep writing!
-Jen -
Interesting take on the quote. It's definitely not how I think of this quote, but I love the new perspective. It's amazingly simple and yet still hard to really wrap your head around it.
Thanks for the entry and all the best in the contest,
Katie Jo -
No end beginning or end yet a center in everything!
A great write! Thank-you for taking the time to enter my contest and good luck!
-
Very interesting thoughts here, well-constructed poem. Not entirely sure if it fits the contest theme, but I enjoyed reading it.
*~Huntress~* -
I really liked this... Love the way you come out with stuff that makes you think some of the stuff is obvious like "Infinity has no beginning, no end" it seemed quite smooth.
-
Outstanding premise, "Loss and gain are phenomena of finite." Well restated, "Infinity...neither can gain nor lose." Very thoughtful "when we limit ourselves (to ourselves?) loss begins."
I wonder if infinity's waters are not 'change'... The idea of 'permanence' seems somehow discordant as I set it beside the child's concept I hold of "infinity".
Interesting presentation of the concept of a universal mingling of intelligence, each sharing the gains and losses, joys and sorrows, of every other each.
Very nice write.
-
Very Philosophical!
I'm at a loss as to how to comment on this poem, at first thought! The thoughts are rather Buddhist or Tao in many ways! I like your poetic form and statement scheme! You have used very good wording and made a very interesting poem! You may just have the answers here, my friend! Good work!
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
