While trust freely imparts
the yoke of endearment and deuce.
May each that crave this fleshy fruit
fall shy to tale untruth.
For a pride unheard of
and discerning souls unseen.
As the wise grow grey;
May the humble proceed...
Author notes
All critics welcome...
A contest entry
- I have too many Points..... by McRae by nature.
1200 points, ended November 28, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I loved the rhyme, the rhythm was a bit choppy. I really liked this piece. Your language was strong as was your meaning. Thank you for entering.
Carrie
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to follow in in wisdoms footsteps
one must be humble
well done
God bless you my friend...
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i like how this ended. so open yet closed. "May the humble proceed... "
so powerful in so little words. i'm loving it lol. Keep the pen flowing. and good luck in the contest.
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Wonderful piece! Yes I love the brevity and metaphor used in this. Really enjoyed this one.
All the best with it
Gaylene
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