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unseen wisdom

While trust freely imparts
the yoke of endearment and deuce.
May each that crave this fleshy fruit
fall shy to tale untruth.

For a pride unheard of
and discerning souls unseen.
As the wise grow grey;
May the humble proceed...

Author notes

All critics welcome...

A contest entry

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Comments


  • McRae by nature
    November 24, 2008

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    I loved the rhyme, the rhythm was a bit choppy. I really liked this piece. Your language was strong as was your meaning. Thank you for entering.

    Carrie


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    to follow in in wisdoms footsteps
    one must be humble
    well done
    God bless you my friend...


  • HpWICKEDangel
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like how this ended. so open yet closed. "May the humble proceed... "
    so powerful in so little words. i'm loving it lol. Keep the pen flowing. and good luck in the contest.


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    November 11, 2008

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    Wonderful piece! Yes I love the brevity and metaphor used in this. Really enjoyed this one.
    All the best with it
    Gaylene