I
All she knew was breathing
felt like rubbing icicles across
fresh sandpaper
and she held herself culpable
as she tried to survive
on the grated water that
tickled her wrist.
II
She let him do it.
She offered him the blunt
syllables
and closed her eyes tight;
nothing could break through,
and nothing could seep out.
III
He traced her cheekbone
with his eyes, and finger,
as if her skin would stem
worth from his repetition,
but she was only in his hopes
and too far away
to feel it.
Author notes
I looked at the image and many ideas came into mind, all from different points of view.
So here are vignettes that combine those thoughts. Hope you like...
Option: Pictures ...
image credit
In a list
A contest entry
- ~Options~ by Dead Hair.
625 points, ended December 16, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The last one was my absolute favorite, but they are all fitting and powerful. An excellent take on the prompt (I'm sure that the artist themselves would be awed by the way you have manipulated their picture.)
Lovely!
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those vinaigrettes were absolutely amazing! the first one blew my mind with the metaphor about the icicles it was so powerful and to the point, the second one was chilling, and the last one such a different message, and together it's just amazing, wonderful work with the prompt, best of luck with the contset
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Oh, yeah. This is the good stuff. I'm sure I've said this before, but you just have a great way of putting words together that both contrast and compliment each other. It is as if you push opposing forces together so that they balance each other and hold your words up.
Well done.
Garrison
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I like the way you crafted this. Very clever... very good!
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