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I Am Not Me

My eyes stare exhausted into the dusk,

I realised a while ago to do what I must.

Life is predestined

I cannot change that.

I think that you should know.

I am not I when you aren't by my side.

I am not me when you are not here,

I am alone.

How you hold such power over my heart I know not.

Or how with a word you bend me to your will.

I am not me when you are not by me,

I seek comfort from that which I cannot see.

Because you leave,

I am never truly me

A contest entry

Ehuem,

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Ativyen Volst
    December 31, 2008

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    Well. I'll be rather frank here. You need to work more on this piece. It qualifies as a good sketch. but I didn't see what I'd call poetry.
    Suggestions are all I give.


  • toomysterious
    December 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I had commented on this one before, but it has an easy rhythm and flow to it that Forgotten lacked. Your friend and fellow poet.


  • Bella Cullen
    December 5, 2008
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    it sounds like the part in twilight when Edward leaves Bella..how they can not be apart like they are tied to eachother.

    i know this feeling all to well...but it always betrays me...i am still healing from the last time i was left alone...but i love your poem.


  • Dreaming-demon
    November 19, 2008

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    Ah yes...im sure everyone feels this way some time...you just put it into words so well...nicely done..

  • toomysterious
    November 18, 2008
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    This is a sad but true tale for many and you have shown it well. It is never wise to tie your identity so closely to another. Best to strive to become an independent person and rise and fall in all ways on your own merits, for you are always there, others may leave, but you still have to live with you.

1 - 6 of 6