Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Bio-hazard Experiment



Little girl crouch down,
be very still & very quite
or they'll find our secret place,
and draw out the painful memories.

Don't you see?

Where did the purple mark come from?
I can't place it,
not there yesterday...

The icy winds are punishment
because you didn't listen to me
or we'd be in bed without dinner tonight,
but you told me to "SHUT UP!"
You screamed until the needle.

How is it that we came here,
not by our choice but from him and her.
BLESSED are we the children
who don't see tomorrow's sun,
but the Devil's grin.

 

Author notes

Ok it sucks....hope you get better entries!


To explain the poem a lil bit... Child abuse. This little girl has an other side to her a rational one and tries helping.

A contest entry

What to do in an insane world?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Firstly, I love your title... I don't know what it has to do with the poem itself, but most of mine don't either The best titles are the most abstract

    As for the poem itself, child-abuse is one of those subjects I'd rather not read about, but you've written this well. It's devastating, though, that this is reality for so many kids these days

    Well done & thanks for entering


  • forever ever young
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    if this sucks then...i'd like to see what dosn't

    Where did the purple mark come from?
    I can't place it,
    not there yesterday...
    I love this bit its just so.....uhh...i can't explain but its great.


  • McRae by nature
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sucks? I don't think so.

    This was so richly written, making the reader feel painfully close to the situation. This is such a difficult subject for me and many people who write about it do not really capture the true fear involved. I think you did a magnificent job.

    Carrie


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't think it sucks...you didn't even have to explain the poem...i pretty much got it...unlike mine, no one seems to get it...and its about abuse...well mostly rape is what i was thinking when i wrote it.
    but I like yours, its very dark and gave me the chills
    good luck in the contest