So instrumental, So savy

The lonely days ashore come to rescue me
from my chaotic temperamental episodes.
If you were to grow on me in such a way as
one would imagine, I would pursue a life
so destructive it would leave me to fen for myself.
This is partially the reasoning why I must stay inside
this situation. This situation of lies and dissolutions
that control my every move to which I have lost all
control of my own decisions.  You hear what I am saying,
but could you really understand why I choose to remove
myself from these aspects. I would like to be seen without you,
without this. I would like to be able to break free and establish my
own recognition. A chance without you is a chance for a reason of living.
I’ve learned you can’t be building buildings without a solid foundation.
My life is a foundation and you are a crack that just cannot be.
The lonely days ashore come to rescue me from my chaotic temperamental
episodes and you are no longer here dragging me down.
The predicaments that seemed apparent when you were
here have since stayed after your departure.
So maybe all along while I was blaming you,
I should have really been pointing the figure at
somebody more like me. The lonely days ashore come to rescue me,
but there is nothing to rescue for I had already rescued myself,
the only way I knew how.