Gasping,
Reaching, clawing,
No light, no air.
Darkness,
Cold, freezing,
Lungs burning.
Kicking,
Screaming, crying,
No sounds heard.
Caught,
Tangled weeds,
Can’t move.
Dizzy,
Can’t see, can’t hear,
So cold.
Pain,
Fire, hot in lungs,
Like this?
Water,
Everything, everywhere,
No more.
Silence,
Movement stops,
Darkness, at last.
Author notes
Rejected Easter Egg's Option - Death's Muse
Describe the sensation of drowning through poetry.
A contest entry
- The Allpoetry Seven Contest (-1) by Dancing Feather.
1850 points, ended November 25, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATING POETRY AND POETS- ONE-DAY competition, "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY by Vera Rich.
6000 points, ended November 26, 2008, 127 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Thank you for entering my "Celebrating poetry and poets" competition. Your entry is very difficult for me to read (you seem to have overlooked my request for legibility and contrast) - but as far as I can make out it seems you must have misunderstood the rules. For I do not see any reference in your entry to poets and/or poetry. I wish you success with it elsewhere - but on this occasion, I have to say "no".
-
-
Ah! That was definitely a misunderstanding on my part. I'm sorry for any trouble I may have caused =/
-
-
Wow, chilling imagery! You've really captured it well, gave me a shiver for sure! An excellent write, good luck in the contest
-
Oh snap! Ive never drowned before, but after reading this, lol, Im definitely glad I havent :-P. It was cool though! At first I thought this person was buried alive. With the kicking and pounding, and clawing. Than you talked about screaming and crying, but not being able to hear anything. It actually makes sense now :-P. It was a harder read than the rest, but because of the topic that you were dealing with. It looks like you did it on purpose. That made it coool, lol.
Adding your comment:
