Uncle Toms Turkey

Uncle Tom carves up the turkey
but being one himself,
He slips and sends it flying
knocking books and things from shelves

Tommy junior falls into the cake
and leaves a frightful mess
then crawls under the table
to look up Sallys dress

Fido is humping Grannys leg,
She doesn't  realise,
Thinks its cream from Tommy juniors cake
that's running down her thighs

Mother dearest wanting to beautify the day
put some flowers on the table,
Only mother doesnt realise
how allergic is Aunt Mable

Aunt Mable lets out an almighty sneeze,
Her false teeth fly out with force,
Landing, plop, right in the middle
of our favourite main course

Daddy opens up the cranberry sauce
but then he sees a spider,
Everyone at the table looks like a bloodbath,
I guess theres still the cider

So Grandpa brings his homebrew out
for some real thanksgiving cheer,
But Grandpa has got cataracts,
Put cider labels on his beer

The vegetables look delicious,
Sweet potato, corn and peas,
But cousin Katie spilled the platter
and burned her hands and knees

Then we all realised Fido
had found our missing turkey,
In doing so upended appetisers,
grapes, cheese, pate and jerky

The bread rolls looks delicious,
Guess we shouldn't have asked Great Gran to bake them,
Her alzheimers was playing up that day,
She used sugar instead of salt to make them

And yet we had a great thanksgiving,
And you're invited this year,
We may end up with pizza
but its fun and laughter (and Grandpas beer)