Once famous, now forgotten
This fear that strives with woes begotten.
The curtains part but nobody's there
A beautiful violin fills the silent air.
The most beautiful song she performed that day
But no one showed up to hear her play.
The only applause she heard at the end
Was her broken heart trying to mend.
Now she travels to were she is understood
The only place where anyone could.
To the very end of the world
The fog slowly began to unfurl.
She walked right down to the valley of death
The only sight was her frosty breath.
To the shadows she played her last serenade
As the souls of the dead filed into the glade.
As her last note echoed through the air
Those long forgotten souls laid her down with care
Her song was that last that ever would play
For with her, music died on that fateful day.
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A contest entry
- Picture Quickie by piccola.
400 points, ended November 11, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Easy as Pie by Cyanide Dreams.
3250 points, ended April 17, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Have Lost My Muse! Please Send Me Your Best! by Nicada.
800 points, ended February 11, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me What You've Got! by SpeakLove93.
600 points, ended May 5, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what can i do to improve
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Beautifully Dark
This is a very nice piece for such a dark topic. Your words work so nicely and your rhyming is great. Hopefuly the music will never die because its often what keeps me sane. But this is still a wonderful write. Very nice job and thank you for entering! -
This is a fantastic poem, your emotion was great, the descriptions were great, everything was great. I like the last line, the unrecognized, the talanted, the frgtten. You have a few errors in this but I was so lost in your words I could not remember them. I do remember were should be where but otherwise I'm drawing blanks. Keep writing, I'd love to read more.
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Stunning piece!
Strong words, a sad tale, but true to many.
I love what you've done here.
Great flow and imagery, flawless rhyme.
Keep up the good work!!!
♥ Kathraina
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Such strong emotion is shared in this poem, and it is very well written. The rhyme and flow of it is amazing also. Beautiful imagery is used here as well. A very nice write! Thanks so much for entering. Blessings, Patty
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Sighs-Truly masterful write. Imagery was awesome, loved every word.
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Wow this is amazing. I love the rhyming scheme. You're message is put across really well.
It's very powerful, very emotional. It's almost brought a tear to my eye, it reminds me of a friend who died about a year ago.
Keep writing, you are clearly a very talented poet.
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Great emotion
I really loved your expresive words in this poem. It makes a very powerful impact on all the readers! Great job and I look forward to reading more of your work!
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This was great. I absolutely adored this poem. Such amazing imagery, such powerful emotions put into this poem. I'm in awe and speechless from reading this. The flow was great as well. Just, wow. I need to keep my eye on you. Great great great job on the poem, and thank you so much for entering my contest.
Josh
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Wow
I have to say this is soooo good such a beautiful poem full of grace and such heart and soul such talent this is one of the best poems I have ever read in a very long time full of emotions and so sad. This is a poem that I will always remember Thank you for sharing this with us all.
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