fly my heart, be gone from here
you bring to me only grief
go out far, beyond this world
to the shores of distant seas
flowers bloom, fade, and fall
stars burn away with time
but you my heart
my aching heart
will never make him mine
A contest entry
- Pre-write challenge! by Lady Michaella.
485 points, ended February 20, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Nice poem
I like what this poem addresses. I feel the meter could be better if you removed the word "to" in the second line and the word "out" in the third line. What do you think? A nice piece nonetheless - Peace
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There's a double space in the second line! Is this on purpose?
And also a space missing in the first line of the third stanza after "bloom,"
But regardless...
It's very... bitter-sweet.
I like.
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all corrected
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Hehe
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wow...this is awesome
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very well written... great flow.. and very unique
Thanks for entering my contest,
and best of luck!
Your judge,
-Lemon Bee- -
oh, i really like this one, the flow is so so good, it reminds me of my soul mate that could never be. great job
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This is great. The title is awesome and packed with meaning. And the last line brings it all back home.
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Another heart-felt piece
I can feel the longing and heartache in
your well crafted words
your metaphors are always so very clever
and your imagery quite stunning
I adore this piece
Thank you for sharing
~Pastel
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This piece is incredible. Very strong in emotion, the flow of the poem is lovely.
My favorite lines are...well, all of the poem But also, most certainly "you bring to me only grief" and I'm amazed how the last stanza/last three lines are written.
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thank you very much!!
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wow...heartfelt
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