You're the cause of so much sorrow
Both yesterday and tomorrow.
A prolonged agonizing death,
An overdose of crystal meth,
Niether could possibly be worse
Than this life I've come to curse.
Thus sang the sad caballaro.
Author notes
Quote Prompt:
"Your name dances on my lips,
like a funeral song
I'd rather forget the lyrics to." -Laura VBS, aka me
7 lines
A contest entry
- it's quickie-time! by Immortal Obscurity.
500 points, ended November 10, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Superb
A very fine write, my friend. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. For those not familiar with the term 'caballaro', here's a Google Link:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rls=RNWO,RNWO:2008-24,RNWO:en&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=caballero&spell=1
Again, well done. -
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Thank you very much for reading and commenting. I am sure that people will appreciate the link.
Mike -
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You are quite, welcome.
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Sometimes great works can be written by a simple prompt, though this is not one of your best, it shows well your talent as a poet, and I can almost envision myself sitting in some Italian bar listening to this song. Well done and thanks for sharing.
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Thank you for reading and commenting. I would agree this is not my best work. It was dashed off in one of the quickest quickies I have ever entered. I enjoyed the constest though. I am glad you could see the imagery.
Mike
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Nice One woodchuckie....
I like your take on the quickie
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Glad you liked it. It was fun, but as usual unlike anything else in the contest.
Mike
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Mike
I guess being in touch with ones weakness can creat such a sadness. But the poet shines once again.
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I am glad you enjoyed this. It was a very, very fast quickie prompt. It was fun, but, there is not alot of depth to it. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Mike
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Very well done Chucks..it reads like a song. Great job and best of luck!
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Thank you very much. It is much appreciated. It was a 20 min. quickie.
Mike
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This is a exquisite poem, full of emotion and has a beautiful flow. Fantastic job, and best of luck...
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Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate it very much. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
Mike
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interesting take on the prompt, i agree love to see the different takes people get out of the prompt.
best of luck
Tasha
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Thanks for reading and commenting. I tend to have an odd outlook on things. I think it is from reading too much and not being sensitive enough.
Mike
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Very nicely-penned... This wasn't what I'd expected at all, but it flowed easily and rolled off the tongue like a song in itself. Well done, and thanks so much for entering
Laura
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Glad you liked it. I don't often do quote prompts and almost never do blind prompts. Nice quote...
Mike
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