The bridge across forever
is unfinished business.
Unfathomable time undulates
in the darkness of space that
is so vast that light years roll
into numbers we can't imagine.
We cling to a floating grain
of cosmic sand - dwarfed by
the size and power of a
universe that may itself be
no more than an atom in the
make-up of a still larger vault
of time and space.
We try to live our fleeting lives
as if none of that matters.
It is beyond the ken.
Look out, look down, but don't look up.
Birth is the moment of promise.
Of new life that might change
this sour and rotting old world
into something young and fresh.
Love comes to precious few
who seek its secret power
but we all surround ourselves
with the lies and placebos that
help us believe we have found it.
Life is nothing more than the
bitter dregs at the bottom
of a cracked and dirty cup.
Death is the sleeper in the cell.
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration XII by Samplette.
1800 points, ended November 24, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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"Birth is the moment of promise.
Of new life that might change
this sour and rotting old world
into something young and fresh."
I also love the clever use if the word; "placebos".
The writ is indeed one that shares a desperate society where love is waning. Beautifully sad dear friend. I do hope you are well.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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A strong write. Well crafted with good imagery.
"Life is nothing more than the
bitter dregs at the bottom
of a cracked and dirty cup."
That would be a horrible thing if I felt life was defined this way. Well done. Thank you for entering the contest.
Sam
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How sad this is . It hurts to read . well written and beautiful yes the sadness just comes across like a cross to carry because you are my friend and I care.
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there isn't really anything i can say here other then wow, this was good, keep it flowing my friend, keep it flowing
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a million dollar ending line
It is good to read you again, John.
Love, Lane
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This certainly stirs up some hope and also some darker emotions. Some of the stanzas are more gentle and tame, and the ending really packs a punch. I must say that this is not the cell mate I hope to be paired with any time soon. A but shaky on some parts, but overall a stunning piece, as always. :]
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Dearest Poet...
The title is intrinsically clever in itself...the first two lines alone are so thought provoking within their truism that it was awhile before I moved on from them and read the rest of the poem...particularly liked the reference to undulating time...quite how you manage to write such a dark and dismal mantle overview and yet not cloak the reader in its darkness but instead switch on a light is skillfully deft...the end is as intrinsically clever and as strong as the beginning...death is the sleeper cell...yes it is dormant 'til it has a date with inevitably and in that last dance they are betrothed by destiny...an astounding and outstanding write from the picture prompt and it works completely independantly of it and yet also paints it too...
Warm Love and Light
Yvie...
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I liked the way you have put lot's of imagery and your words make this poem very dark and powerful. You have considered the picture well. I like your style of writing. We try to live life the best way we can, but sometimes we question that. As if we float through life not knowing where we belong.I can relate to this as I have experienced a lot of the feelings within this poem.
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We try to live our fleeting lives
as if none of that matters.,,
can relate to this well L)
But still we need to see the beauty of the life itself; as everything has two sides :black-white;yin-yang;happy-sad;life-death ...so enjoy each stage on every side
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Very dark and very deep...a lot to think about...an excellent write.
All the best...Suzie Q
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You have posted a bitter picture of inevitability here that gnaws at the soul.
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The universe that may be
no more than an atom---
Now that's a thought
to tip the scales of reality,
to unbalance the brain
as you often do!!!
M-C
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I am overwhelmed.
Why am I thinking this is three poems jammed into one? Maybe the hour is late and I'm too tired to take it all in--it is very very big. I like the visuals and the ideas are interesting, but maybe you do your best work sitting on a barstool (not on a bridge to nowhere) ripping your guts out for the reader. This is just too immense for me tonight. I''ll try again tomorrow
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..
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Great inspiration from the prompt picture.
Good luck in the contest.
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thank the Goddess my husband tis out of his cell now then lol. a very deep piece this one.... i love work that gets you thinking ... i particularly like the beginning and endings. also the love verse.... so true.... love can easily fool you but thats something that can only be worked out by time. a great poem and best of luck in the contest,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
thank the Goddess my husband tis out of his cell now then lol. a very deep piece this one.... i love work that gets you thinking ... i particularly like the beginning and endings. also the love verse.... so true.... love can easily fool you but thats something that can only be worked out by time. a great poem and best of luck in the contest,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
Far out. Excellently put. Of course if 'the bridge across forever' was in England there would be a traffic jam on it!
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VERY SAD
from the moment we are born we are dieing and from that one little grain of sand we long to love and be loved...for just when we get use to time death becomes the reaper...excellent my friend and a winner for sure
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You paint a rather bitter picture of life on this planet, yet it has a thought provoking ring of truth about it. The eternal questions arise once again: Who are we? Why are we here? Are we the best we can be? Well constructed and well thought out, my friend.
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Profoundly Thought-provoking...
"We cling to a floating grain
of cosmic sand - dwarfed by
the size and power of a
universe that may itself be
no more than an atom in the
make-up of a still larger vault
of time and space."
Bravo!! And yes, we ARE of that "floating grain of cosmic sand" - "at the bottom of a cracked and dirty cup." Good luck in the contest!!
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