A set of pretty porcelain rectangles
slip through my fingers
Crashing onto the floor with surprising volume
amidst the silence
Distracting my thoughts on tangents
wondering through my minds alleyways
Searching through memories to find your face
Hoping I can singe it with candlelight
Turning your sweet smile into vintage photographs
The past.
I’m trying to force mismatching black dots against one another
Hoping that the numbers will somehow change
Morphing into two black florescent dots
so I can piece them together
Without the back of my brain screaming
‘that’s against the rules’
It almost as though we were building trains
Moving up mountains and through ravines
Pushing our luck until it grinded to nothing
Simply a white powder shifting through our fingernails
Pulling bared-wire barriers between our eyes
Before touching our life’s work
watching it crash to the ground
Then walking away
I believed our fragility was glamorous
As I skipped bricks and saved the cement
Perhaps I was hoping that these trivial game pieces
Could hold together reality
I suppose I should have realized
That it was all a game
And I was losing.
Author notes
Dominoes
I have a case of dominoes on my desk..I know..weird.
A contest entry
- What you first see by Seaquince.
450 points, ended November 11, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
criticm welcome.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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cleverly written... i am impressed
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Amazing poem!!! I swear you get better with each poem, alltho youwere already amazing so its a tough call
The imagery in this is simply astounding, I loved the last stanza and the simple power of the last line was brilliant
Another amazing write which I feel priviliged to read, keeeeeep on writing these amazing poems
Rob
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I liked how you related dominoes to your life. The whole poem is beautiful. I love the images that I get from the metaphors in it. I like the part when you try to put mismatched dots together. This is my favorite part "I’m trying to force mismatching black dots against one another
Hoping that the numbers will somehow change
Morphing into two black florescent dots
so I can piece them together
Without the back of my brain screaming
‘that’s against the rules’". It's so symbolic of how
much we may want something no matter what. The end is really good too. It puts the whole poem in perspective.
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Great
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I thoroughly enjoyed this incredible piece. I would suggest removing the a in line three and correcting too in line eight by removing one 'o'. Otherwise I loved the flow and intesity of the write my favourite piece being
'Perhaps I was hoping that these trivial game pieces
Could hold together reality
I suppose I should have realized
That it was all a game
And I was losing.
Excellent good luck in the contest.
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I never would have guessed that it was dominoes... I had no idea what it was, actually. To be honest, I hope you get the gold. This was an amazing piece.. sad but amazing. Great job, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest I was too late to enter.
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