The revelation of the single-minded,
that think and feel as though they were never blinded,
that see a coloured darkness spread over the minds music sheet
like a creeping vine tatoo: Ode to the sheep that bleat.
The revelation of those souls lost in revelations sea,
that think and feel as though they were always sighted for a fee,
who perform knife-edge symphonies on wrists: because they like the pain?
Because they can't take it anymore? Ode to the sheep thyself profane.
The revelation of those in self-sacrifice to the greed-fame idol,
that think and feel on the precipice, dollar-pit; where they confide all!
Surrounded by the sycophants, and the drugs they ingraciate,
profits of the moving picture gate: Ode to the sheep that capitulate.
The revelation of the doctrinal devotee,
that think and feel in simple faith and piety,
but can they think of doctines other?
Leave all prejudice in its sepulchre? Ode to the sheep that smother.
In the end its in futility, because that revelation's remained unchanged,
its simple, awful and quite comedic; that this deranged
wonder we call life, is just a game for all and none:
now lets have a look at what you could have won.
Author notes
Each of the first four stanzas are supposed to work as revelation to a group of people, described in the stanza, as is suggested by the title lol Of course at heart this is a poem that can be accused of generalising, there will of of course be people within each group that cannot be rightly accused of possesing any of what my verses profess. However, if this poem were to partake in the particulars of everyone then it would be less an ode to sheep and more an essay to them lol
A contest entry
- All poets welcomed! by Guerrero.
900 points, ended November 24, 2008, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 1 - Auditions.. 2 entries and PWs by T.o.r.t.u.r.e..
1400 points, ended September 22, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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well said, keeps the reader hooked
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nice
its interesting.
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very interesting... nicely written.. good luck contest..
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A very deep poem, that rhymes. Wow, you don't see that every day. Nice.
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"who perform knife-edge symphonies on wrists: because they like the pain?" Its a really great line. The whole poem was really great. I'd never thought about this in the way that you did. You gave it all great meaning. You did an astounding job with this. Keep writing! I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
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who perform knife-edge symphonies on wrists: because they like the pain?
Because they can't take it anymore? Ode to the sheep thyself profane << i think this waas intended to be slightly antagonistic was it not ? lol we both have very simmilar views on that subject, brilliant imagery and i loved the idea behind it
and i dont think your originality can be questioned for the title lol -
I am a big fan of repetitive lines in poems, i really love yours, and the way you have linked your title is great.
Your words made me go look in the theasuras! lol. But its good, refreshing. i think you've done a really well written poem here.
as always i look forward to more. your words are awesome.
keep it up bro!
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There were a few really fantastic lines here that deserve recognition...
"who perform knife-edge symphonies on wrists..."
I read so much emo stuff on here about cutting...yet not one of these pieces has held the beauty of this comparison...as if self-mutilation is another art form....chilling.
And...
"This deranged wonder we call life, is just a game for all and none..."
Truly, life as it is described here....is a huge joke with no punchline. A game with no winners.
The Bible often describes humanity as sheep...and I have often appreciated the accuracy in the comparison. So many of us truly are so easily misled.
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i loved the ending this poem shook me
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This had a old edge to it that added to the mystery
I also loved the last two lines
great write
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I love it little bro! One of your best pieces yet! Great job
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