Belief

I

&the rainbow path we  walked hand-in-hand is fading,
the glitter drops that are falling are getting dimmer and darker.
[C'mon baby, promises get broken everyday]
11:11 comes and goes now without a thought,
I don't believe in wishes anymore.
You took what I gave you and put it on display for everyone to see,
With flashing lights and a banner above it
[Look What Nickole Did Yesterday]
All of your diseases and biodegradable lies [i always closed my eyes] and swore i believed.
What a fool.
The clock cant go tock-tick, and time doesn't move backwards,
I'm stuck with the regret of regretting you.

II

Lust was the feeling that I had come to call home
After all, I don't believe in love anymore.
You took my hand and made everything seem to be okay, I swear I saw ponies and leprechauns and all those other make-believe things.
Such a fabricated world I'm living in, lost in my head, can I borrow Alice's hole?
To f
    a
    l
    l
&for the first time in seven months breathe and feel alive,
I'll do anything if it means it'll take away the scent of you from my skin [disintegrate your taste from my lips]
As everyday slowly goes by I'm starting to realize,
We never we're meant to be.

III
Romeo & Juliet, what a tragedy.
Two helpless young lovers, believing a silly lie.
&that's what they get for being so naive to believe that love was real,
That it was something you could actually .feel.
There's no one to say that Romeo was meant to be so.damn.perfect
He's meant to be human [with flaws like you and me]
And Juliet?
Well we all know how girls can be.
me & you, what a tragedy.
Two helpless young lovers, built on that lie.

IV

&everything is -->cr-cr-crashing<-- now
We're like a car crash baby, devestating and oh-so-fun.
Spiraling round and round, a merry-go-round on feet,
[Hurricanes had less momentum than us]
We never we're good at stoping to think.
Concequences and booze, lifes answer to any problem, [what'd you think we were something special?]
We were never meant to be together,
I see that now,
&with every sentence that pours out of your mouth
I wonder how I ever feel in "love" with .that.

V
Old t-shirts and baggy jeans,
It's days like this you mean everything.
Just one more chance, just one more shot.
One more sprint [maybe we'll hit the finish line]
Our path can sparkle and glow once again
If you'd just forget the past and take my hand
But then again,
We're not meant to be.
So what's the point in even fucking trying?

VI
Three months, and yeah, I'm still sober.
Three months and you're all I see.
Three months and nothings changed,
Three months with nothing to gain.
Picking daises from my hole,
He loves me [He Loves Me Not]
A childhood saying, for such an adult game.
&this time?
It's your move babe.

VII

Sparkle. Shimmer. Spa tt er.
Don't you remember that game?
The one we used to play,
And you always won.
[Pull the trigger, I.Dare.You]

VIII
Time doesn't heal old wounds, distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder, and none of this is helping me to get over you.
You're so strong, you're such a .man. bitch do this before i smack your hand.
Distitute and diplidating this life isn't suitable for me,
I'm better than you.
You don't deserve better than me,
Marionettes and ragdolls, I've been it all, lifes got a lesson that I just can't seem to hack.
What's the point in living,
If it only leads to death?

IX

This is it,
I'm through.
There'll never again be a me and you.
You made your mistakes, you have your faults, you'll replace me with another plastic whore
i dont believe in you anymore.
i dont believe in us,
and quite honestly,
i dont believe in much of anything anymore.
little white dresses seem so far away.







[this book is over, there's no more pages. there's no more words to describe the hate and the confusion i feel over you. tattoo the end to the back of your hand, and think of me whenever you think of Juliet. Do what you want, I don't care. I'm not a ragdoll, you can't throw me around. This is me, done. For the millionith time, I'm done. Put some adhesive on it and stick it to your head, don't forget [baby, I'm done smoking these midnight cigarettes]