The Little Mermaid.

I crack jokes among my friends
never knowing when this ends
or when it will all mend
me
so I don't have to depend
on this hypocricy anymore.
Around them, I try to smile
atleast for a little while;
as some sort of trial I suppose.
But the lie only grows
and I'm stepping on my own toes
and I wonder if any of it shows
to the point
that would disappoint
any of whom
who might look p to this persona.
I wish I could be real like those standing
next to me;
I wish I could just be
me
and let me see
who I really am.
I close myself off
like a clam.
Surely, somewhere in there
is a pearl so shiny and white.
But I'm not quite
the girl that
anyone really wants to get to know.
Did I sowe
these seeds
and is the grim what I'm reaping?
And here I am
withholding all that I'm keeping
inside.
My pride
can't confide
in gold.
Let it subside
until it gets old.
None of it can stay
because it'll go away
anyway
and that's okay.
My jacket is already stained;
what's one more?
It hasn't rained at all in this dry desert;
and here is where you insert
the hope
that I don't know
how to cope with at all.
I feel 3 feet tall.
So frail.
Is this where I fail?
I can't tell
where I'm going;
but I'm showing you
all that I am.
A clam.
A dirty rugged shell
up for sell.
Fight.
Open me up.
Maybe you'll find a pearl at my core.
Maybe you'll find
the girl you've been looking for.