Violet-eyed gurgling Spring ~
caressing catkins,
slushing slopes,
tickling truculent traces
of winter
to withdraw
from her growing grasp.
Sultry Summer’s youth,
rosebud lips parted
in lark song,
gossamer gowns
in waterfall swirl,
jasmine dusks,
coyote moons.
Mellow, magnanimous Autumn -
trees speak in flame
verdant thoughts
of a year;
crops culminate
in toothsome treasures.
Welcome, Wintertide!
Quietude’s sanctuary!
Author notes
catkins: puzzy willows (a phonetic attempt for "*bunny*")
truculent: expressing bitter opposition
toothsome: pleasing to the taste
Prompt #5, 60 words by counter
A contest entry
- PROMPTS IX - Round 2 of 2 - by Bear - by Arkbear.
500 points, ended November 19, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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It is always a treasure to read your lvoely work Always of highest quality and this poem was no exception
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5. Talking Seasons
Hello
I have nothing to critique....maybe a suggestion of more Tell, to balance your * Show & Tell *
Other than that, you chose your grammar wisely and it brought me into your write....I liked that a lot!
Visuals are superb.....great job.....good luck & God bless you,
Bear ~
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What imagery!
and I loved this poem for all that it shared, it is rich and flowing free verse that just says 'read me again'. I have no suggestion other than leave it be. j
y
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Love the transition from summer to winter in this poem
. Love the line with the trees speaking in flames.
Great imagery
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Nice take on the prompt, your words are beautiful as you go through each season. Good luck in the contest!
Hugs!!!
Cayla
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Gorgeous write! Beautiful and unusual visuals, sound and flow for each season. Wonderful write for the prompt
*bunny* in the poem and notes bewilders me. Also, not sure why Sweetness is capitalized. I looked up the meaning for "truculent - you might want to include def in AN.
"covert" I relate to as something hidden and as an adjective, such as "covert operation". Also, the sound (if I'm pronouncing it correctly) sounds harsh at the end of the poem. Perhaps "cover" or "dwelling" instead? (I like dwelling).
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I don't know why the *bunnies* are there. I wasn't sure how familiar all readers would be with the term 'catkin' (a pussy-willow--those incredibly soft grey-silver spring buds on some willows). I have no clue for the rabbit on 'cum' (you've heard of graduating "summa-cum-laude"?) Perhaps it won't flare up if I hyphenate, but that would throw off the word count....
Thanks for catching the cap, and I'll define truculent.
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Gorgeous wording and images! Lovely!
(I think I'm going to change my prompt #, and re-write!)...
nice job!
best wishes in the contest.
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Thank you, aboomer, for the lovely comment!
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