Frozen,numb, hours of tears and still on she cries
Falling from life with tear stained eyes
Forget truths, got lost amongst lies
Fearful, who cares if she lives or dies
Fog clouds logic , took her eye from life's prize
Frozen to the spot
Falling from the shot
Forget her , forget her not
Fearful , lost herself ,lost the plot
Fog hides the truth and what she's got
Frozen , blood spilling down slashed arms
Falling , ears ringing from inner alarms
Forget past pains , looking at blood drenched palms
Fearful , for not only her such an action harms
Fog hides the truth as she losers all charms
Frozen,numb, hours of tears still on she cries
Falling from life with tear stained eyes
Forgot herself, got lost amongst lies
Fearful, who cares if she lives or dies
Fog clouds logic , took her eye from life's prize
A contest entry
- Give Me Emotion by DemonicChanel420.
500 points, ended November 24, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Self-Mutilators: United & Exposed by Hovels 3.
1242 points, ended March 26, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I'm so loving the rhyming flow in this. I also liked how you repeated the first/last stanza twice. Very nice. It just brought a chill down my back. Sad chill, of course. It makes me think of a person who had goals, had life planned out, and life was going pretty damn smoothly. Until, something happened. Something bad happened. And bam… that person’s life just stopped. Right when that bad thing happened, that person’s world came crashing down; everything just froze. And that person was just in a rut, in the same place that they never wanted to be. That’s damn sad. That's when all you have left to say is, "Damn."
I love how you gave me that impression from this poem. Perfect!
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I couldn't even help crying....this is soo well done but so sad too.
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Amazing!!!
This is a wonderful poem, I really love it! The imagery is so clear and the wording is perfect, deffinately a finalist, great job! -
This is an awesome write
So sad that so many feels self destruction will kill the pain within and make thsoe who lied feel their pain . Honey if someone can hurt another without remorse they are best left behind and you reach for a better life and better friends . Words like a double edge sword stings the skin yet the hearts untouched for sure for the person they so lie about you know isnt you so reach beyond the liers and paly them for the fools
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