Wrapped up in himself,
caught between two worlds:
demanding apartheid
between the earth and his humanity;
invading the clouds for the status of deity.
Skies fade
as epiphany wraps arcane hands around him:
his fight was not with the
silhouettes surrounding his body
but the demons bombarding his mind.
Half-trapped in a lightless frame,
if silence arrives,
silence will reign.
Author notes
Michaelbe
60 words
A contest entry
- 30-60 words Contest PIF Quickie..Picture Prompt ..56th Contest by Spiritualangel by spiritualangel.
650 points, ended November 30, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Skies fade
as epiphany wraps arcane hands around him:
his fight was not with the
silhouettes surrounding his body
but the demons bombarding his mind.
Beautiful. Well done. Best of luck. -
Well said, good poet...
This poem reminds me of the political scene for some reason and I enjoyed reading the lines as they unfolded so splendidly before me. 
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A truly amazing response to the picture prompt! Your words give such different interpretations to the way the man holds his arms around his head, and why, all as tightly wrapped in the poem as he is in the picture. A very nice flow, and the last three lines are totally unexpected and perfect! A very good read!
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Detached from reality, abandoned by all, surrounded by people who exist as shadows only, his own touch the only thing that seems real. These are thoughts that come from the image and perhaps from your poem also. Very fitting for the prompt. Worthiness is sometimes only in the mind of oneself and that often becomes the thing that will bring betrayal and disappointment...my thoughts.
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I've read the poem, several times, and the other comments as well. I was drawn to this write because it has that ambiguity you speak of, and can be interpreted in several ways. The language is powerful, and relates well to the prompt photo. A very interesting read..thanks for sharing it!
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This is a very good piece of work
Within this piece I see a person who in time had played with the group he so chose to follow and in doing so and the fun wore off and the drugs took hold left him in a shell of silence shrouding him and he is unable to fight his way out . The whispers are all he hears now as the drugs take over the mind and throws it into reverse for it can not see the future and cant remember the past which leaves a void a place where humanity feels trapped and ready to give up for they refuse to hear those around them who truly cares .
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thank you very much for taking time to properly read my poem and to construcy a very detailed comment; its much appreciated
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Very interesting title. I usually think of 'spliced' as joining two things together, but here the union still results in isolation.
Excellently worded "demanding apartheid between the earth and his humanity." Sounds like a wish to distance himself from the soil and the necessary labor to bring up crops. "Invading the clouds" sounds like distancing himself from what he would consider lower, or unworthy uses of his energies, perhaps in a skyscraper of business pursuits.
"Skies fade" could be pollution, and "demons bombarding" the buying in to a high-powered, money-driven lifestyle. If so, the epiphany could be the realization that he will lose his future by having destroyed his planet for a profit margin.
Did I come close to what you intended, or miss the boat?
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wow... in all honesty you missed my boat entirely lol but you have drawn a fantastic conclusion nonetheless! I always try to write poems with a degree of ambiguity so they can mean different things to different people, but the fact that you have managed to see something entirely different yet still back your theory up is amazing. thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment my work, hope you enjoyed it
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Interesting word usage from the title to the ending. Since you asked for constructive criticism I must point out that the first stanza is punctuated as a sentence but it is incomplete. Perhaps you might change it to: "Wrapped up in himself, HE WAS caught between two worlds:..." or "...caught between two worlds HE DEMANDED apartheid." Either way would introduce a subject and predicate to this long phrase. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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Don't touch this
Empacting emotional piece. Well done. Good luck to you,
Mary O
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