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He shall rise

He rests within his silent, god-forsaken mind.

 

The world has taken over

and left him distressed.

 

Anger and pain...

 

Trying so hard to hold his head together,

but he knows

one day,

his insanity will escape.


"Torture me now,

as you please

it won't be long

before I open my eyes

and have you before

me, on aching knees." 

Author notes

AP Name - Ylova

Picture found at Google Images
Artist Unknown

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an interesting piece - I do feel like it is just a part of a whole. I would have liked to see just a bit more with it


  • Girl-Interrupted gold member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh!excellent Ylova! The words and phrases are remarkable!Torture me now.... brilliance in sight. bravo, kudos, encore and more!

    becca


  • spiritualangel
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a magnificient expression...

    "Torture me now,
    as you please
    it won't be long
    before I open my eyes
    and have you before
    me, on aching knees."

    Best of luck.


  • luna-midnight gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great flow, the ending was nice and to point , i like it alot. good luck and take care
    Stephanie ♥


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Woot! Awesome ending, love the twist! Title is perfect for this piece. A wicked write! All the best in the contest with it


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful!!

    This is icredidable! very well written !

    Blessings


    Rend


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    HUN! this one brings his feelings and emotions to life within your words.
    The pain he feels..
    and you being there for him
    Best wishes and good luck
    Julie


  • Puppydog gold member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    BEAUTIFUL!!!!

    Oh how my mind has felt like this! Wonderful take on the prompt !'s


  • MD Masroor
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gigi will totally think this guy's hot. Your take on the prompt is amazing. I love the feelings you have expressed in this poem, and how you pull your reader's attention to it, and making their mind flow with such imagery. Poetry is something you're really good at. And you've pursued it to the point that it inspires people to try harder. In other words, you have reached a level of perfection that I thought was impossible. Beautiful.. Good luck in the contest!

  • crosscountry07
    November 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is incredible! Awesome write! Good luck in the contest! -Liz


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i think i should be telling that to the voices in my head, this is a strong and wonderful poem, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • thejollytinker
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Maybe it's just today, but I've never seen you more precise and coherent with a write- all the buttons popped off my shirt!


  • Alyzeh
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh..this is sad, but a strong write..full of emotions. Good luck in the contest Ylova. I've only been reading your work, Haha. Kind of unfair on all the other favorites I have. Consider yourself very very lucky. Haha. Great work!

    P.S: I love the guy in the picture =I *shy*


  • Alyzeh
    November 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    He. Is. Hot.

    Period.


    =0


  • Ken-Maverick
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, well said my friend
    You described the picture well,
    kinda a sad and dark write isnt it?

    Good luck in the contest

    Ken

1 - 16 of 16