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Nature's Nightclub

Eyes swollen,
sinus pain pulses
in disco beats;
inflamed tissues
wear latest styles of soreness;
ears plug as cymbals clamor,
resonating in riots
to the latest rhythm.

World spins,
like dirty laundry
sloshing in discomfort,
tipping in terror,
as barometric pressure
bounces off walls.

Acclimated allergies
wheeze wildly
in tune to nature,
as humans suffer
earth’s battle of the toxins.

Author notes

#5. Talking Seasons

I suffer from allergies, sinus problems, ear inflamations, vertigo - all arriving with the changes in baromatic pressure due to seasonal fluctuations. As I type this, one eye is swollen and wants out of my head, ears are plugging off, and pain is dancing behind the eyes and everywhere!
that's where these thoughts are coming from.....

(not up to finding a cutesy, nice bg or picture....lol
when I have more time, feel better, and can add more words - I'll add in about the 'gyrating germs copulating to the sounds of Credence Clearwater'....lol

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25
  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    November 20, 2008
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  • Arkbear gold member
    November 19, 2008

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    Hi Boom

     

    Personification is great.....Title rocks

     

    I see a whole lot of creativity, you captured your Prompt very well ~

     

    However, on the downside of this review, I feel as though your Tone  was.....huuuummmmmmm...........hmmm.....I wonder if that's because you were all plugged up?

    )

     

    Nonetheless....nice job....enjoyed the mets a lot

     

    Good luck & God bless,

     

     

    Bear ~


    • aboomer silver member
      November 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Bear - glad you enjoyed.
      Thank you for the HM.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    gyrating germs?? copulating? now that would be a sight! I love how you've written this! 'wheeze wildly' is one of the many phrases I like here, and your AN made me want to You! Poor thing, I hope your taking plenty to ease the symptoms some! A very creative piece, much enjoyed the read Good luck in the contest

    • aboomer silver member
      November 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you LadyD - glad you enjoyed this one...lol
      I KNOW they are copulating - they multiply like wild fire! must be that disco beat....lol


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This one breathes the struggles of allergies to perfection
    and how natures beauty does have its draw backs
    Nicely penned and vivid
    Best wishes in the contest hun
    Julie


  • Xianaria gold member
    November 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this & I'm sure many can relate!


    • aboomer silver member
      November 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'Xianaria' - glad you enjoyed.


  • Mirthryl
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great title. You really got pounded with the "club" part, didn't you? Nice nightclub metaphor. Fantastic laundry metaphor! Lovely alliteration throughout. I also enjoyed the "wheeze wildly" and "battle of the toxins."

    • aboomer silver member
      November 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'Mirthryl' - glad you enjoyed.
      I wanted to get back and work with this a bit - but didn't feel like it....maybe another time...lol


  • Stingersinger53 gold member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL, this is wonderful! Not at all where I would have taken the prompt, but works perfectly. And I love all your descriptions even the possible add on later, Good luck in the contest, and with your poor allergies.

    Hugs!!!
    Cayla

    • aboomer silver member
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for reading 'Stingersinger53' and your lovely comment. I am pleased you liked this. Any other time, this is probably not where I would have taken that prompt either....lol

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think that this is a unique take on the prompt you did a great job with it but sorry that you suffer with this crap lol. Good luck in the contest be well

    • aboomer silver member
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Starz - I have some rough times sometimes. I hate the vertigo the most! But it's hard for me sometimes as I'm not sure what I'll be allergic to next - the weather affects me, any chemicals or smell of any chemicals, perfumed kleenix/toliet paper, most cosmetics, some food, almost all medications, chemicals in homes (glue under rugs, formaldyhyde in cupboards, etc. etc. etc.).....think I need to find a nice tree and go live in it!....lolol


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yikes! I have seasonal allergies, but nothing like this!
    Great metaphor for what you're suffering and great take on the prompt!

    You need to live somewhere with no change in season...

    • aboomer silver member
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'Freed by Mercy' for reading and your lovely comment. Glad you enjoyed.
      It doesn't matter where I live - if the pressure changes, my ears/balance go; and I am allergic to too many things - I thought I might outgrow it, but I think it's gotten worse with age...lol


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a descriptive write...very well expressed but I have to say that sounds like and awful afliction!!!



    • aboomer silver member
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Az - I hate allergies/sinus infections!! They ruin an other-wise decent day!....lol....snowed here this morning, holding everything to the ground.....
      Glad you enjoyed.


  • Kathryn Bowden
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful!

    very well written! The flow was great and kept me moving right through the piece. Your word choice was great! I think you did the prompt more than justice. Good luck!

    • aboomer silver member
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'Kathry Bowden' for stopping by to read and leave such a lovely comment! I am pleased you enjoyed this.

  • michaeline
    November 10, 2008

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    This is really great .Sorry to hear about your allergies.This time of year plays havic on so many.You are a really great writer and i like your style.I feel for you on what you are going through as my fiance suffers from allergies and all that comes with it.Good luck to you.

    • aboomer silver member
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'michaeline' - glad you enjoyed.
      I felt 'lousy' this morning - couldn't think, didn't care...lol
      Allergies/sinus infections are no fun


  • michellemybelle gold member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OH no, I hope you get to feeling better!!! I can totally relate to this. Very cutely written!
    Get well soon!
    Michelle

    • aboomer silver member
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'michellemybelle' - glad you enjoyed.
      It's stange what one writes when they are 'under the influence' of nature's nasty allergies!...lol

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