It wasn't that the sun was weak today
It's fair to blame my callousness of skin
That combats all the pure things I portray
And leaves me without freedom to begin
If not the fault of any storm tomorrow
Perhaps it's wrong to label this as loss
Now without gain there is no pride to swallow
And neither is there any salt to toss
Abandoned dreams before stars could fade
I'd seen no proof nor promises of luck
Again no justice and no form of aid
Alone, for now, the stone that lightning struck
I daren't expect the rain from yesterday
Apparently I lost that when it ceased
But there's still reason to avoid decay
One final sentiment to live, at least
Once every last possession had expired
As well as every ally that had left
I thought that there was nothing I required
Since everything was lost to war or theft
Forsaken by myself through times so cold
Neglected and ignored by my own will
Whilst losing all the prizes bought for gold
I didn't sense my body turning still
Author notes
Prompt: "Just when you thought that you’d lost everything, you find that you can lose a little more"
A contest entry
- Mental Asylum [invite only] by Never Fall in Love.
400 points, ended June 14, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I think I enjoy your rhyme way more than free versein general - it's just a personal preference - which you keep backing up
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I'd cyber Whack you if you prefered my free verse crap (though this poem is far from my best)
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I couldn't grasp the beginning (the word "it" is usually difficult to grasp), but the last two stanzas came to life- something about war and death, it seems...
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Not a big fan of pessimistic poetry, myself, but it flows and I like the choice of words... Fugingheart
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excellent expression
Your words express so well, the deep sorrow and loss you have endured in your life.
I especially like the last stanza.
Good luck in this contest!
Ethereal One
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