Broken threads torn out
From the fabric chain we had
Connecting us.
You’re standing idle watching them falling;
I dive into the sands of earth
Trying to recollect them.
I’m sewing them up.
With each stitch a tear leaks
From the golden gashes in my heart,
It lands on the threads
Plugging them back together.
I run to you,
Waving the once more whole chain!
The rocky road trips me down,
I fall face first into the sand,
The chain falls on the paved street.
A truck passes… tears it,
Now I’m mourning the loss!
As you walk away, smiling,
Me trying to stitch it up once more
Now…
Silence is falling,
Silence is calling,
Silence is burning holes in me,
As I'm forever sewing it...
Author notes
Contest prompt:
"Starting from silence-No more than 150 word
Poem=128 word
Thanks for reading!
In a list
A contest entry
- Individual Prompts by kiwigirljacks.
700 points, ended November 15, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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The metphor is strong and this and carried well throughout the poem. I marvel at the endurance, for I myself would have given up trying to keep fixing the broken chain.
Excellent take on the prompt.
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Wonderful! You grabbed my interest right away with "fabric chain". You write with wonderful image and feeling.
P.
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Sad wrute!
Love the sentiment you express here & the imagery! You've a nice idea with the sewing, thread, fabric & what occurs as you're trying to 'put things together again'! I see some places were rephrasing, grammar & punctuation would 'tighten' this up. Going to put this into my Word & get back to you with some suggestions! Fine expression of emotions here & you drew me in!
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Thank you so much for this sweet comment. I'd love to see your suggestions since my grammer and punctuations ability isn't that well considering that I'm not english.
Thank you again! 
~Noor
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Wow.. Beautifully penned! I love the imagery and the meaning, and everything about this poem.. beautiful! good luck in the contest!
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Interesting write here
Like so many young people today giving themselves away to the very young men who are just learning and paving the way looking for that one girl who doesnt give it away to settle and know real love for the best love waits where marriage vows are spoken and promised to never be broken
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TOUCHING!!!!
Oh how ones heart just keeps on trying and tearing apart again and again!
Though it is the true and loving heart that gets us through all the bad.'s
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Nice!
Beautiful language and form.
"golden gashes in my heart" is especially cool.
Nice work!
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Wow. This was an amazing take on the prompt. I really enjoyed reading this
Thank you for sharing and best to you in the contest
Much love
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Let me know when this is done
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"Starting from silence"
Let me know if that works for you, otherwise I can give you another
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Should I include it in the poem or just be inspired by it?
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You don't need to include it.. just whatever it inspires
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