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Fissure of fear

He calls me in my dreams, the face in the wall
He smiles from the crack, says his name is Paul.
He wishes to play with me, he swears that is all.

Momma says it is all in my head.
Father, yells go back to bed.
Sister didn’t even listen to all I said.

My body gotten the best of me,
as I walk towards, my mind doesn’t agree.
But my legs fall silent to it’s plea. 

He look out from the crack
and give me a dark smile back.
He reaches out, and I don’t fight back.

He pulls me in but this is not the end,
Paul lied to me he was not my friend.
He laughs it was all just pretend.

The crack let him out and it took me.
He said sorry but it just had to be.
now he was finally free.

Author notes

The prompt is fissure of fear

the picture credit goes to Vervex of DeviantArt
-La Fissure-

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Bob Fox
    December 17, 2008

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    Visions

    Childhood dreams and visions of demons. It happens. But at times is it real? I wonder. Dark poet. Dark & it can get darker.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 14, 2008

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    Very creepy and spooky!! I just saw the movie Mirrors and it kinda reminded me of that . Nicely done with that prompt!


  • Swan song gold member
    November 14, 2008
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    Excellent

    Very good use of stanzas and flow.
    This is creepy but well written


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 14, 2008

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    Wow! Awesome take on the prompt, love the tale you told! The darkness is chilling and the rhyme is fantastic. Wicked read, good luck hunni


  • my imaginary friend
    November 11, 2008

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    Fantastic!

    Holy crap! This is fantastic! This really does reek of fear, that ending especially creeped me right out. You’re rhyming flows perfectly. I really like these two lines:
    He look out from the crack
    and give me a dark smile back.

    They make the reader use their imagination and picture a face peering out of a crack. It really makes this piece more real for me and adds detail. Extraordinary work, you really have a wonderful talent, I really felt as if I was there as I read this.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    November 11, 2008

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    BRAVO! BRAVO!
    Way to use your ink to speak for those who are too
    frightened to speak!
    frightening is to read..thankyou for keeping our eyes
    and hearts wide open!
    ears/Seattle
    BRAVO! BRAVO!


  • chilali
    November 10, 2008

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    Oh my my! This was wow!I really loved the rhymes and the story. Great write and best to you in the contest


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "fissure of fear"

    Tell me if that works for you, otherwise I can give you another

1 - 9 of 9