I see the wounded men
screaming to the sun,
dividing stars by zero to calculate God
Eyes burst with ice and fire
and ghosts spill from their mouths,
to shady land caught in the flames
of an angry universe
I see coiled spines and writhing souls
and great tortures, with little pulse
and little hope but of ruin
There's great conflagration and wounds
and men long to move into shadows
just to remove themselves from
Medusa's wicked eye.
But tongues are silent
and the men lie to die, to be buried
in sleep and dust, to fall endlessly
into the old, other world
as quiet as the stars
and as raw as bone.
A contest entry
- Teach Me to Wear Fire by Heart Sutra.
1000 points, ended December 1, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites, come and get them by Ryno.
638 points, ended November 24, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for sharing your poem. I like the reference to gods and to the old legends. The poem does not bring out any emotions for me, I felt flat after reading it. I happen to value emotional content and confessional narratives, which is part of what the contest asked for, so while this is a great poem in its own right it doesn't completely fit the contest theme.
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This is a chilling write. It has everything that a dark piece needs to make it essential and well written -
intensity, imagery, and metaphors/simile.
The intensity takes us on a journey with the imagery of this dark, descriptive horrifying world and the metaphors are defiantly brilliant.
You've truly depicted a harsh relity for me. Well done. -
feeling it
~prewrites, come and get them -
Brilliant!!!
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This has the most amazing metaphors and I love 'zero to calculate god' it makes it sound so infinitely impossible to work out the meaning of life..Brilliantly done. C
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You write exceptionally weel.I can picture everything in this.Very graphic in details.You have a good chance at winning this I believe.I love it.
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