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Downtown Flowers

 
It is an ugly bouquet
 but what do you expect from downtown flowers?


Coat of spit, spill of piss and acid rain
have worn away their luster.

 

Imagine grand enough to see their vibrant ardor;
Trimmed arrangements in the market have less color.

 

 

  -- And I won't always be the annual type of rogue.

          When winter thaws you'll find me in a ditch, buried:

 

My ruptured song the vernal rose's fragrance;
My happy face the core of every perennial.
 

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Night Hope gold member
    November 16
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    I especially liked your two ending lines, Julien. I could not imagine any flower held by your hand to be anything but brilliant, fragrant and lovely. Even the lowly dandelion held by you would be accepted with a blushing smile from your beloved, I believe.



  • Rembrandt Clarke
    November 13, 2008

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    the first two couplets i found amazing, really enjoyed the aesthetics of them. sounded and looked great.


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    November 11, 2008

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    my head went to such a strange place with this..women worn down from standing on street corners and all that that implies.or over the hill dancers..can't shake these images from my head ...


  • just mercedes gold member
    November 11, 2008
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    I like the revision - refining the concept, and it's clearer. I like the contrasting images in the second stanza with those in the final, and the use of song as fragrance.


  • Grunts Girl gold member
    November 10, 2008

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    ha,
    liked that feeling that they cant get rid of you no matter what... but that was just where i went in myself...
    i also loved how it made me feel in the start as ugly as it all was... still it is the thought that counted not the circumstances.


    • Victory Gin silver member
      November 10, 2008
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      I suppose we all have our own illusions of immortality. If I do die I hope I am remembered but the world is a blur...

      Thank you for the comment. Good intention was definitely the thrust of the poem.

  • tara wilson gold member
    November 10, 2008
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    I love the revision=)


  • just rob gold member
    November 10, 2008

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    Ahhh, the ditch,

    where the skeleton of yesterday is yet woven with the bloom of echoes.

    good stuff, Bro.

  • Night Hope gold member
    November 10, 2008

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    Ahhh, Maestro...It is a lovely bouquet, simply because it had the strength, temerity & willingness to struggle through such ominous conditions & bloom anyway. Now THAT'S a flower after my own heart, my Friend. I had a poster, years ago, of a blue wildflower growing between the cracks of a sidewalk. It was more beautiful to me than a whole field of 'em.


  • transcendental baby gold member
    November 10, 2008

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    I love this! But are you spilling beer or bears? I tend to spill my bears too All kidding aside, I love how you've woven the idea of the hardiness and stubborn tenacity of the wild flower's beauty into the idea that it is a part and parcel of all flowers. Maybe that wasn't your intention, but that's the fragrance I smelled

  • just mercedes gold member
    November 9, 2008

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    I love the language of flowers, messages sent by the choice of blooms. You are sending a rose; I'm sure your happy face will be seen, and not need to hide.

1 - 11 of 11