I see
with apathy
and weave My lies
with innocent eyes
I speak of faith to you
seeming sincere and true
and leave your hope
at the end of a rope!
I am the great deciver
to you, naïve believer
I am the one you trust in
rusting in My acrid ocean
one tainted kiss of false bliss
and your hearts amiss in My abyss
remaining bias, repressed to distress
listless to dismiss Me as callous
I bore the hole
that bleeds your soul
and become the hollow promise
to fill the emptiness
in My barren apathy
you will drown infinitely
from all feeling I shall abstain
and shed no tears for your pain
Woe is the lowly disciple of love vexed by the fallen ways of the lorn
Comments
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I loved it and i loves the stanza
I bore the hole
that bleeds your soul
and become the hollow promise
to fill the emptiness
It is strong and i can relate to it it shows great imagery to me
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That's one of my favorite parts to this as well
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..Wow. Beautiful. I love the rhyming- it adds a lot. ^_^
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Beautiful ?
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Truly Unveiled!
You have removed the veil that some may view as love but find out sometimes much to late is not. You truly know how to touch thoughs parts of life through your poetry that causes us to truly see with no obstructions. Muy Bein!!!
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Great write. Stanza 2 and 5 stood out. I like the rhyming and the way you spaced the poem. I once read a quote that said, "For never love anything or anyone so much that you can't bear to see them die." What do you think about this? Xds-gX
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The quote makes sense, in the sense that if you never want to hurt, you should never attach yourself to anything....Ha!, if you can bare to purposely exist all alone. (the person who said that must have always been alone,but not purposely)
I am trying very hard to not love anyone so much at all, ever.
So in a realistic sense, I truely understand the point behind those words.
The messege you should get from this write though, is never attatch yourself so much to anyone that would not care if you died.
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Great poem!
I was about to say that I disagree with your vision of God, but then I noticed in the comments that it was metaphorical
Especially liked the first verse.
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Wow, a heartless God indeed. I read the explanation of this in one of your comments, and it seems to me that sometimes we elevate someone to a Godly status, only to realize that they couldn't care less. You say it is not about religion, but it could apply to it just as well as it could to anything we place love and faith in. It seems that the world keeps on moving regardless of what we feel. The point of view you chose for this poem is unique and powerful, the voice seems very honest and direct. Well written poem.
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Ah, well the faith theme was implied to give the meaning of the poem that much more feeling.
Plus I just love to bury everything in metaphors.
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hmm...
seems like a cruel joke
but then again, that sometimes is love
sometimes people want to put all they can even though they not they arent capable of letting go of what they are so wary of and can never commit to embracing it completely, yet selfishly drag it further 'cause it feels nice when the other person does feel what one wont allow yourself to
"you can love me, but dont expect shit back"
lol thats funny
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Did you ever read "Estranged" ?
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I once read, "As man is so is his God And thus is God oft strangely odd" (Goethe?) Those few words help me to somewhat understand that maze that is religion. You address a higher issue though of Gods' very existence and seeming lack of favorable intervention in our lives. A topic far beyond me I think for I have found myself indifferent to arguements either way
Rather let me comment on your words. A very gifted and thoughtful expression. You write so very well and I find myself reacting to your images. For example, to feel and to cringe almost at "I bore the hole that bleeds your soul." Very visually involving for me. One poem I will be looking at again often. Much to consider here Jane
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I'll let ya in on a little secret (since i am apt to bury my meanings under a falling mountain of metaphors and analogies), this is actually about love, from the point of view of the one who uses and abuse the one who loves them for their own selfish desires and needs, only to eventually cast them aside like nothing more than a barfed on slice of pizza.(and you can imagine how fast onewould be to get rid of food vomited on!)
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Thank you. Now I read with new eyes. Used, abused, manipulated, discarded, forgotten... Still, the love of a God or of a 'user' it plays well. Only the names change. It does however lead me to consider the idea of whom we worship. Keep that pen close at hand. Jane
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Glad to shed new light and give the read a new look for you
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that is a heartless god, damn.
umm...goddamn!
this is metal...you need to write lyrics for some wicked ass band, your words are amazingly put, as always!
♥
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My God, oh why oh why! Wonderful, I have no hope left in faith now at least for this God of sorts. FABULOUS rhyme and very worthy of my all capitals to better emphasize just what a great rhyme it was. I feel like falling to my knees now, but I have no god to fall to =)
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We all fall to our knees, humbled by this all power being.
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this reminds me of all the hope and encouragement I try to instill and offer others but don't feel for myself.
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