My second night in Germany,
and I haven’t left this bar
Drank so much here yesterday,
I threw up in my car
They dressed me up in lederhosen,
told me to take a chance
With a peg legged hooker named Hilda,
for some German style romance
I tried to take her dancing,
but her peg stuck in the floor
A cute girl of about eighty pounds,
an anorexic whore
Took her to my fine hotel,
we did it oriental style
Screwed me in a foreign language,
I paid for her to smile
She took me to a nightclub,
in the middle of the day
A beezer in the woman’s john,
again I had to pay
We rendezvoused that evening,
she was dressed to kill
Ate an ex-lax chocolate bar,
and had a different kind of thrill
I took her out to dinner,
we had to go to Taco Bell
For eighty pounds I tell you man,
that chick could really smell
Whispering dirty in my ear,
and that was just her breath
Then tried to exchange my spit,
I thought I’d catch my death
I knew we finally got to business,
as she dropped away her pants
She hadn’t shaved for twenty years,
I was praying those were ants
She said that it was normal,
we Europeans do not primp
I have seen me way less hair,
at the zoo upon a chimp
And those were merely love bugs,
she shared them with her friends
But now I need a flea dip,
and I will sleep with my Depends
Author notes
Bosiarbooger Prompt: "A night with Hilda, the one legged German hooker" Thanks if you thought it was hard coming up with a prompt try to write a poem to it. Five tries later I hope it's OK.
A contest entry
- Time for some laughs, Name Prompt. by Rob..
900 points, ended November 30, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Screwed me in a foreign language,
I paid for her to smile
My favourite ;lines.
The one bit I disagree with- 'we europeans do not primp.' I'm a european. I take pride in myself...(Does English count???)
Aaaaaaanyway.
Congrats on Gold! Mine was silver. You whipped me. (lol!)
I loved the way you followed that up with 'I prayed those were ants! So funny!!! -
hahahahaha
O man, this is awesome!
You had me laughing from the get go, yup, you took the prompt and made her scream your name...
Great Job, a well deserved Gold.
-
You have done an excellent job on such a difficult prompt 
Well done and good luck 
-
This one's anything but easy...
First thing that came to mind was lingerie, the booger part quickly dispatched any sexy thoughts however...
Ya stumped me on "Bosiar" tho, but hey, not the end of the world....
Hmmm, how about...
"A night with Hilda, the one legged German hooker"
lol
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