I’m hoping,
hoping for you to look
me in the eyes and
to see a hint of
longing to
match up
with my
own.
- I have a thing for triangular shaped poetry, and I like the way the triangle reminds me of your guitar pick, the one I still kept in a tiny wooden box on the second to the bottom shelf where I keep photographs and books, with tiny messages scrawled with permanent marker on the backs of pages to forever remind me of the happier, brighter times.
could it
be worse
than the time
I got lost in the
spanning of your
arms, and your eyes
disappeared into a dark
shade of a lifeless gray that
I couldn’t get to, no matter what?
-nothing could be worse than not knowing what could’ve happened if we did talk the night we met, we both saw the sparks emitted by our all-too-eager eyes, we saw the lights dim on us, we saw the world smile and in that second I had to say goodbye. I’ve learned that the strength of two hearts has the power to crush mine all too easily.
I like triangles because they’re so predictable.
Author notes
option 3 titles: fragmented memories.
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for SilverScent's contest: so originally i was inspired by the title 'fragmented memories' but while i was writing i was listening to acoustic music and thinking about this guy i liked who played guitar.. i guess that's what inspired me. music always inspires me along with that guy.
.. so i didnt choose a picture or quote like you said, but hopefully this is still alright 
In a list
A contest entry
- Options for those in search for something new by kitsmith.
700 points, ended December 1, 2008, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Choose your own prompt and get on my favourites list... by silverscent.
475 points, ended January 4, 29 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I’ve learned that the strength of two hearts has the power to crush mine all too easily.
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Though i loved this entire prose piece i especially connected with that line, this is absolutely amazing . -
I loved this because it's so different. About the prompt, that's fine, what ever inspires is a good enough prompt to me.
I really enjoyed this, thanks for entering.
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Excellent!
The memories shaped , like a corner note torn off a piece of paper. We keep those talismans so long after. Your unusual style here supports the poetic, and the anathema of not having tangible evidence of the lover's presence. Triangles are indeed predictible, lovers are not!
Write on! -
Interesting structure. Thanks for entering!
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two thumbs up
the randomness just jumps out from you, very clever
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I like the geometry of your poems, and I think it's very interesting and well. I myself never bothered with making shapes out of the words themselves, but you seem very good at it. Nicely done
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That ending totaly got me. Great Job!
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This is quite a strong bit of poetry, in my opinion. I like the format you wrote within, in keeping the triangular shape. And the end is superb.
This piece in particular touches me:
"...the triangle reminds me of your guitar pick, the one I still kept in a tiny wooden box on the second to the bottom shelf where I keep photographs and books, with tiny messages scrawled with permanent marker on the backs of pages to forever remind me of the happier, brighter times."
I have a box that keeps much the same type of momento and holding them takes me back to happy times. Lovely.
Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing!
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thanks for the comment
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"I’ve learned that the strength of two hearts has the power to crush mine all too easily."
but beautiful
Good luck in the contest
Shelly
x
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oh! please put your screenname in the author notes.
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interesting way to write. the poem and then thoughts... i kinda like it. it's different. the last line "I like triangles because they're so predictable." is great. Thanks for entering.
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nothing could be worse than not knowing what could’ve happened if we did talk the night we met, we both saw the sparks emitted by our all-to-eager eyes, we saw the lights dim on us, we saw the world smile and in that second I had to say goodbye. I’ve learned that the strength of two hearts has the power to crush mine all too easily.
I LOVE that.
all-to-eager --> all-too-eager.
is this about saturday night by any chance? -
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yes, but it was quite the subconscious poem lol
i didnt mean for it to by about saturday.. just like life in general
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Good poem. I always wonder shoulda, woulda, coulda. Got to take a chance once in a while. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Beautiful peom.
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wow... this is so amazing. the last line, especially, punches you in the chest. Brilliant work Emma, and good luck in the contest!
♣ Tegan -
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thanks so much, I was thinking for a while if i should add more to the end, and I wasn't sure if people would get it if i just left it like this.. but since you like it that make me so much more confident in it
thanks again
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oh my wow, emma, i do believe you're coming out of the slump!
i loved this, my favorite part was about the triangular poetry/guitar pick. idk why, it was just really relateable & pretty clever actually.
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i think so too
it makes me happier
& thanks.. thats my fav part as well
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I loved the ending
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