Sunday, November 09, 2008
4:30am
ten shots and I’m gone;
tonight was definitely not my night.
an empty room is one of the loneliest places in the world, more lonely than a night spent with you when your mind is wandering to where you could be at night instead of with me. I’m trying to sleep in a pearl-white room surrounded by at least three blankets as protection for my heart, protection from you.
2:20am
I’m only staying awake so I won’t miss seeing you playing on an un-tuned guitar or watching the green suns set in your eyes, or the way your palms are able to embrace my hipbones that are jutting from my jeans, hipbones that are only noticeable because I haven’t really eaten properly for at least a month.
I took another shot for the warmth that was starting to fade away the more I watched you and your guitar, fingering the strings as carefully as possible so to not disrupt the vibrations you created and made beautiful. another shot to create a haze in my memory, to quiet the unsettling voice of my conscience telling me that I’m going to hate the morning if I go on through with this.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
11:03pm
I’m outside in someone else’s boots and your hand under my elbow to stop me from toppling over. we’re both laughing at the shapes the smoke makes when it leaves our lips, never for one moment thinking about our lungs and the consequences of us staying outside together. when you barely made it out the front door I thought you were just intoxicated by the Bacardi, I never thought you didn’t want to be with me. I thought all guys would jump at the chance to be with a girl for just one night. and my conscience was already asleep, otherwise I might not have made it past the stage where I put those boots on.
10:28pm
I’m being careful with the alcohol tonight, not drinking too fast to raise my blood-alcohol-level to a staggering amount that would create a blackout. I’m being careful with my words, trying not to spend too much time around you and your mesmerizing presence. I’m being careful, and maybe that’s not what you like.
9:00pm
it has begun, you’ve arrived and I fell head over heels, again.
again, quite possibly worse than the first time, worse now than ever because of the horrible ache I have to be with somebody, anybody that might make me feel significant in the world. Ever so carefully I brush past you, and inwardly smile over the way your eyes look and widen at every curve my body naturally makes. I cannot help feeling smug that I do have something you might want.
I think that tonight will be my night.
Author notes
so completely real it's kind of crazy.
this describes the majority of my night; if I wanted to write down everything it would be like a thirty page essay.
mesmerized--x
In a list
- diary; • next in list
- honorable mention; • next in list
- vignettes; • next in list
- prose; • next in list
- manipulation; • next in list
A contest entry
- & I should know, that you're no good for me. by innocence jaded.xx.
1300 points, ended November 27, 2008, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
ooooooooh my god
this perfectly explains how you felt
and its so beautifully written
this is truly amazing
i love it so much
because i knew exactly how you felt
-
-
it's from last year
I remember I used to like this one a lot.
I should re read it. I can't even remember how I wrote it :\
-
-
i love the diary-type feel this piece has. and i like the fact that the further down you read, the earlier in the night it becomes. its kind of backwards from what i would expect, and that works to your advantage. i don't think i'm making sense here so i'll leave it alone. but good job and thank you for entering
-
kool write.. capturing feeling an longing.
thanks for sharing
-
i was able to read the hole thing verry good =)
-
i really really liked this, normally when i see length i think god there is no need but you proved me totally wrong, i think this poem, is so relatable, your expressed yourself perfectly yet you worded it so fluently
a great write
-
to quiet the unsettling voice of my conscience telling me that I’m going to hate the morning if I go on through with this.
I can really relate to the part where you were counting shots and counting dreams. I love this poem, I think it is one of my favorites of yours
-
-
thanks so much
-
-
Gut wrenching.
Beautiful.
Honest.
Pure.
Ahmazinggg
Just wow. This is so incredible, love. Honestly? I can't even pick out my favorite part, because it all made sooo much sense to me. Thanks for entering dear & welcome to the finalists♥
-
I lovelovelove how this is backwards.
I also lovelovelove how it's mostly true.
an empty room is one of the loneliest places in the world, more lonely than a night spent with you when your mind is wandering to where you could be at night instead of with me. I’m trying to sleep in a pearl-white room surrounded by at least three blankets as protection for my heart, protection from you.
that was prob. my favorite. -
-
yaaay glad you liked
i actually really like this poem..cause its incredibly real for me haha
-
-
Hmm, sounds like my high school days, an awkward dance in uncomfortable boots that were never mine. If you kno what I mean. I would give you some advice, this mirror almost begs of it. But I think most of us gotta learn things the hard way. Good luck in life and let it build your character.
Nice write...
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
