So even from the depths of raging clouds
that sweep like foaming waves on stormy seas,
across the lucid skies, like winter trees
stripped bare of cover, dark as deathly shrouds,
that bend to northern winds, the thunders roll,
locked to the heavens like an aching song
of subtle fire and flame, both loud and strong;
soon darkening night's brow above the knoll.
It lulls awhile, a sudden burst of light,
the moon breaks through long shaken by the rains
that flood the sullen land, her earthy veins
soon swollen and aghast on this cold night.
Wild skies! A wind that sighs and softly weeps,
while clouds still scurry by across the deeps.
In a list
A contest entry
- Sonnets and Villanelles, smudged or not, Round One by ecrivain01.
1150 points, ended December 6, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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This is virtually perfect ...
aside from one problem, which is "deeps" referring to the sky, and compounded by the fact that it's part of the final couplet, which is essentially meant to be the strongest lines in a sonnet. If you reversed the order of the final two lines, it would help a lot since you'd no longer be ending the poem on the one word in it which stands out as not really fitting in.
The volta is so subtle that it's virtually unnoticeable, but that hardly matters in this contest. All in all, I'm quite taken with this poem. However, you're up against some really stiff competition. Hard to say where the chips will fall. There will be a second round though, for those who don't make the top slots this time.
Anyway, thanks for entering, and Happy Holidays.
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Just one small point
stripped bear of cover should probably read
stripped bare of cover
Apart from that it takes us straight there
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Lovely nature poem
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Wild skies! A wind that sighs and softly weeps,
while clouds still scurry by across the deeps.
You are one of the best rhyming poetesses on this site, hands down. I tend to stay away from it, because Im not.
Your technique is both classic and refreshingly new.
This poem is now listed, and as always, what a pleasure to read your work.
Love,
Jin
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This is wonderful done, both tone and mood are excellent done. Your imagery is very vividly and strong, beside, I love your choices of words. the flow is like a wild river...great couplet! All your lines contain metaphors, speakable personifications. An beautiful sonnet with my favorite part of nature
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Bandit Appreciation!
Thank you for participating in this weeks reading list
your activity is greatly appreciated!
The Poetic Bandits
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This is an amazing poem
I'm not really familiar with form, but this flows beautifully well and the rhythm is fantastic ... this had some of the most original and well crafted imagery that I have read in quite a while - and I really like how you have managed that with the rhyme scheme staying intact and smooth 
stunning!
Keep writing
Polly
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This is so beautiful, you capture the natural depth so well and with such vivid and beautiful imagery. I admire anyone who can do form so well. Best to you fine poet
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i thought i read this, but i think you have painted like a artist with this poem, only you used words like colors, keep it flowing
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great write I like
Wild skies! A wind that sighs and softly weeps,
while clouds still scurry by across the deeps.
Picturing a blue sky after all these gray days of November.
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what can i say? your wording in this is incredible, its like being swept away with the storm. there is not a line in this piece i dont absolutely love, u should def enter this one in a comp... think there are a few nature ones on atm.
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
beautiful portrayal of nature
This is wonderful! You really capture the strength and beauty of a thunderstorm with clarity and grace and a lovely flowing rhythm.
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nice!
amazing write!!
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this is simply amazing.
i love it. -
Wow, that's a hell of a storm!
Darkening night's brow, long shaken by the rains, flood the sullen land, these three phrases in particular are so distinctive and personal, they are the ones that grabbed me the most. Overall a beautiful poem that speaks of nature's power, personifying it. Or that is how it felt to me. -
LOVE IT
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Great imagery and symbolism here. I loved your rhyme form as well. An all around great piece of work!
ASM
AKA Raymond -
wow
this so amazing and full of strong thoughts..i enjoyed every line as it took me through this powerful imagery..it caused a shaver in my bones.well done and put.
Juliet
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Outstanding, emotional and powerful imagery.
I’m caught in your crafting of words; I could imagine the scenery, as if painted right before my eyes.
You walked us through your naked skies… intensity kept rising by every word spoken it made me shudder at some parts while embrace others.
Very hard to explain, I’m almost left speechless.
There was closure; it came down firmly but delicately.
Beautifully penned, as always =)
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Wow
this is good -
Wow!!!
The Words are heart felt a perfect mixture for a poet. Keep up the amazing work, Never give in and Keep writing. Good luck with Future writes
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Very beautifully described
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Your overall talent is great. You need to work on a stronger closing.
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Amazing use word choice paints magical metaphors all over the page. It sounds like there was a bit of rough seas. Best of luckk to you in your future writes.
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Wow!
What passion ... What beauty ... What presence.
I could only dream to write like this.
Bring the reader within the poem with driving force.
Leave them still, and wanting more.
Great! Write!
~ James ~
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What a beautiful sonnet, dear poet! The images are amazing, the rhyme and flow, perfect! Well done and God Bless!
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As always - unique!
Nature... this is the place which provide us whit endless inspiration. We only need to know what direction to look for. Another amazing picture droped out of your pen.
~Sonja~
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The imagery is beautiful and I think this is a great poem.
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this is a beautifully crafted poem. the imagery is stirring, the energy is palpable. of all the analogies used here i especially love the depth you have given your skies with the comparison to the seas:
"So even from the depths of raging clouds
that sweep like foaming waves on stormy seas,..." - a great beginning.
a beautiful piece alltogether. i enjoyed this. - NANGALEEMA
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Beautiful Poem...
I adore this poem it holds so much emotion and grace to read it, filled with thought provoking imagery and beautiful words. Great job, please keep writing...
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It has a great inviting title to set the scene of a stormy night, liked the reference to "that flood the sullen land, her earthy veins" and many more good lines,
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Great write,
Makes me see a stormy life when I read it. Great job.
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The sonnet form compliments the nature of the poem. This takes reader through a wonderful journey. The essence of rain on wintery night heavens song and lights shake rain in the cold night as the sky softly weeps
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it's as if im there... with the subtle fire and flame, colliding for the roar of thunder. well done, as always.
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