encircling
spiraling, twisting
tread around the open maw
of the inner garden,
ensnared in winding tendrils,
morning-glory blackness
infinite potential
spilling outward into the world,
a split melon spilling nectar
to drown the ants
which come to feast upon it.
drawn down,
inexorably,
bubble-beam screams
spiraling up and away while
grasping foolishly for the light
when all the time
hidden treasures await
on the bottom.
A contest entry
- look deep. by Ryno.
600 points, ended November 12, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything by poets whisper.
550 points, ended November 11, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 tr0phies! wh00t! by amaranthine lover.
1750 points, ended February 17, 111 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mm'kay. It's Free-verse Time :] by Sunkissed xo.
400 points, ended February 19, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
beautiful & deep
thanks for entering my contest, and best of luck. ♥ -
This is really interesting. I find myself almost in the "middle" of something in this piece. And then I have two sides calling to me, throwing away my every belief. Kind of like heaven and hell, but something different, like two extremes in our life.
It is a really spiritual piece and even brings the reader to dwell in their own self wonder, even though it is written for your own.
My only piece of advice would be to stray from the word "tendril". I find it overused now, and it is such a vast image that to me, personally, it never seems to add to the poem.
Besides that... epic and inspiring. Thank-you for the entry. -
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Really? Weird... I almost never see the word 'tendrils' used, and to me it's a very specific concept-image -- newborn plant-vines, outstretching, coiling. I guess it all depends on who and what you tend to read.
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