Soft purring of the ceiling fan
Soft snoring of your sleep
Soft pounding of my heart
Finally we are really near
And this is going to end in an hour
Dazzling white of the sheets and duvet
That for me you arranged with care
Even if her name is always on your lips
My skin was under your touch
Your tongue held my fire
I am standing here
On the edge of nothingness
Refraining from diving in
I don’t want to miss you
I don’t want to crumble in need
But now I regret not having left the word love
Fill that dazzling white of your good bye.
A contest entry
- and This is Unrequited by YourTruestIntention.
625 points, ended December 18, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Good job with some striking imagery. You put in some details which others would miss: the sounds of fan and snoring. The end was strong, too. The diving in at the end of the next to last stanza threw me. The meaning is fine, I just didn't like the sound. Strong work!
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Thanks...I love this comment!
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Even if her name is always on your lips
My skin was under your touch
Your tongue held my fire
LOVE those three lines! they like, define this poem for me. and I don't know if you meant to do this, but it seems that they're really symbolic as well? -
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Hey, you're right...
I didn't mean to give these words a symbolic meaning...but you're right! thanks...
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