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Cataclysmic Heartbeat

Dark eyes spot the heart she hungers to own;
withered hands clasp dangerously around.
Exhausting her beauty and limitless grace
she waltzes inside his chest.

Cotton white to frightening black
sleepless nights devour her;
the eternal hail of unshared devotion.

She steps one last time to shattered existence,
tempo increases:
her heaven space threatens collapse.

Wizened silk: her only protector






.

Author notes

Option 1
Picture Credit: http://zemotion.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Angel-698595
60 Words

I have wrote nothing in a while, so i hope this one is ok
Anything to say? Feel free...

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • vampedvixen
    November 13, 2008

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    This was an excellent read, with imagery that seemed to dance on the page and a well thought out structure. It brought its meaning across to the audience so well, I think we can all walk away a little bit wiser having read this piece of work. It gives the audience a lot to think about. I hope you continue to post your work on this site because I think you have a gift for words and could possibly have a career writing stuff just like this! Bravo
  • liljoeneo
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    it's certianly experimental on the word play overall i felt a dark time inside your mind when love brought the pai
  • Ylova silver member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First of all, I am glad one of the pictures in my contest has inspired you to write this lovely piece since you haven't written in a while an all. Let me tell you that is is more than okay. It was a very good take on the picture. And I enjoyed it very much. You had me from when I read the title. Haha. Great work. Thank you for entering and good luck

  • malmadre gold member
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your words are a collage of wistful images. Seeking that which we may never find, a perfect love, one in which there is warmth and balance. I do love the last line, wizened silk leaving little protected, it's perfect to express how vulnerable we can be.

    . Rewarded 6


  • storiesuntold
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting write

    This makes me feel as though a lady falls for a handsome guy only to find she is now his toy t abuse and bring down and she holds her ground until the last blow to her death yet her love is forever strong a love his eyes wouildnt allow him to except

    . Rewarded 4


  • lunarlunacy
    November 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great closing line.

  • JustsimplyKatiee.
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Smile [:

    Wow, Great job.
    I love the word choice!
    This is a stroung piece.
    So much emotion is such a short poem!
    Great work hun!
    Keep it up!
    I can't wait to read more.
    Keep writeing! xD
    x[[♥]]x
    Katiee.

    . Rewarded 4


  • newnoakua
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you did a great job with the promt you used. I loved your imagery, it was magnificent! As you were reading it was like trying to find a deeper meaning to the words on the page.

    This is a really great piece!

    . Rewarded 4


  • NeonRose
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent take on the prompt, and great imagery and use of language. You seem not to have suffered from your sabbatical from writing!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Demmy
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh my...

    i loved our word choice in this piece. the imagery was remarkable, mind you, and was wonderfully coherent

    a very good write

    . Rewarded 4


  • Sandra R Reynolds silver member
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write has very deep meaning I like
    Exhausting her beauty and limitless grace
    she waltzes inside his chest.
    good imagery and metaphor.

    . Rewarded 4

1 - 11 of 11