Time stands still
And I'm lost in the moment
Watching as flakes dance around each other
Reproducing, creating a white background
A quiet memory
Standing there underneath the street light
Glowing like an angel in heaven
Allowing each flake to melt upon my skin
Watching them stick to each other
And finally the ground
Time stands still
And I'm lost in the moment
Watching as flakes dance around each other
Reproducing, creating a white background
Midnight to dawn
Standing there forgetting that it is cold
My last breath taken
On a beautiful night
Peace, at last
[The snow falls softly still
And I become like the ground
My body becomes frozen and lifeless
And when the snow is done falling
Passers by think I am only a tree
Because that is what the snow has done to me]
Author notes
kitsmith cookie five
The bracketed stanza was added Nov 21-08 for the contest the picture had inspired.
This is one of my favorite prewrites that I have done; one I consider one of my best pieces of all time. That's the option I'm putting it under; prewrites.
A contest entry
- ROOTBEER AND RITALIN (ARE EASY) by Asabouros..
400 points, ended November 19, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Winter Poetry by misticmoonlite.
575 points, ended November 13, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture Prompt - snow, winter... by aboomer.
700 points, ended December 2, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Over 100 Options and everyone needs to enter! by joleahe.
550 points, ended November 20, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Well, I do have to say I like your unusual title - I think the lst most important part of any write is the title. If it doesn't draw in a reader, then it doesn't matter how good the write is......so kudu's on the unusual title - it fits well.
I like the soft feel of this. Has good images, wording, emotions. I especially like like the way you've started it...
'Time stands still
And I'm lost in the moment'
sets the 'timeless' feel for the rest of the write. Nicely done!
thank you for your lovely entry
best wishes in the contest
-
This was beautifully written and a very interesting direction to take the prompt. Thanks for entering.
-
This poem is absolutely amazing. You did a fabulous job with this piece. I look forward to reading more from you when I get the chance. Best of luck to you in the contest and I agree with the previous posters. God bless you always in everything that you do and write. Keep up the excellent work. I hope you win.
-
-
well i didn't win one of the contests i entered it in, but that's ok. thank you for the compliments
-
-
nice entry as you did a lovely poem in words of autumn/winter choices, thank you and good luck
Linda
-
The imagry is fantastic!
-
This is a wonderfully beautiful poem! I live in Canada and we get lots of snow here so this one really struck home. What a pleasure to read!
-
wow, I saw the title and was like...do I really want to read this but then I did and I was like
wow!!!
I'm still like that now
this is amazing, I love all the imagery
good luck in the contest
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
