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Eclipse of Thoughts

Frustration's creases line his
forehead of otherwise perfection.
Her mind is the only mystery.
The voices penetrate consciousness,

none of them being hers.

 

Stepping into the unknown

is a foreign feeling.

A beautiful crooked smile

of understanding is usually

plastered on his beauty.

 

And yet he takes her hand,

caressing the eclipse of her thoughts.

Her shield keeps him out,

he must find out the normal way.

With this, a beautiful crooked smile

of secrets is now his mask.

Author notes

Inspired by Edward's frustration of not being able to read Bella's mind. (Twilight)



TwilightDazzles- AP Name

Alice and Edward are my favorite vampires in the series.


A contest entry

Please be critically honest :)

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • The Hardest Goodbye
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    o m g ... I absolutly LOVED this ... this is most definitly going into my finalists list
    thanks for entering !


  • LoneFairrie
    November 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    AWE! This is very adorable. I love it ^_^.


  • Silent Emotions
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. Im not even sure what else to say, I just really enjoyed this =). Wonderfully written!


  • Missa
    November 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this isn't option 2 because its not from edward or bella and its not from a human because they wouldnt know...great poem...but try to find an option that fits your poem.

    p.s. love the title! i never thought of that!


    • TwilightDazzles
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It does not say that it has to be like a conversation with somebody. It just says it has to be from a character's point of view and this is from Edward's point of view. But I can remove it, I'm not going to change this as it was already written before I entered the contest.

      Thanks...it took me a while to think of a title : )

      • Missa
        November 10, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        i'm not asking you to change it. im just suggesting that you find another option where it fits better, like option 8 that i just added so you can keep your poem in the contest.

        and if it is from edwards point of view, why is he talking in third person about himself?

        • TwilightDazzles
          November 10, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Yeah I was confused, I took point of view to mean...I don't what I thought tbh lol. But yes, I changed the option. Thank you

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have never seen the show but I think this is a great poem. Thanks for sharing best wishes always be well

1 - 9 of 9