Brittle bites of night shiver
over skin grown freckled and old.
Watching in desperation,
flesh prickled with hopeless cold.
How did I grow old so quickly?
Where are the halcyon days I knew?
When did it come upon me
that my weeks and days were few.
Such a pretty girl, now shriveled
and loose of flesh on weakened bone.
Once a prize for all the pretty men,
now dusty, I sit in my chair and rock alone.
Death winks at me from a corner,
eagerly anticipating my time to at last die.
I can do nothing but wait in my shadow
and drown in my agonized sighs.
A contest entry
- Can you make me feel? (now open to PWs) by glitterydoom.
550 points, ended November 16, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this is amazing, very sad, but good
"Such a pretty girl, now shriveled
and loose of flesh on weakened bone.
Once a prize for all the pretty men,
now dusty, I sit in my chair and rock alone."
is my favourite bit
good luck in the contest
and thankyou for entering
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awww this is dark and sad...gives one a very deep sense of sorrow and loneliness. excellent take on the prompt. best to you in this contest ~blessings always~ Trisha~
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that is a very touching poem we all must think at one point this is the deadline we all must face and this would be the process in which we wait this poem was grea
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Incredible write.
Best wishes to you with this entry...
Many blessings
~A~
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This poem is filled with a sadness, and with a reality that most of us will have to face as we grow older. You have used some amazing imagery here and this is very well written. I wish you all the beat in the contest. Blessings, Patty
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I liked this alot, good write although very sad but in a kind of beautiful way. My favorite part was:
Such a pretty girl, now shriveled
and loose of flesh on weakened bone.
Once a prize for all the pretty men,
now dusty, I sit in my chair and rock alone
Very sad stanza but I can visualize this in my head. Over all well written. A bit forced in some places but I liked it -
Ahhhh...very sad. I liked this poem but Its very sad :'(
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