I Am Done

I find myself every night not trying to kill myself ,
Dealing with the shit that I have brought onto myself,
Not seeing a razor slide across my wrists or popping
Pills into my mouth, not seeing the emptiness void,

Its not things that I see it the things that hurt me
From the things that people do to me especially loved ones
It destroys my soul the one thing that keeps me together
And all meaning as a human being, the guilt and remorse 
Of other peoples actions are brought upon me through there
Actions, and not let the degradation push the things I love away 
.

I should end my life because the things that I do are never thanked
For, I am continually saying sorry for the things that I did not do,
I should let the smooth cold razor blade slide so smoothly across my wrists
And let pain be the victor of all the things I have worked hard for,

I am draining away through other peoples victories I lose constantly
Nobody cares about how I feel they mock  me till I Just want to punch them
I tumble under the enormous amounts of pressure