looking at old photographs
wondering what the black
and gray keep hiding
the picture of my dad
and his girl friend
holding eachother's hand
not showing the first signs of me
i wonder if it could be
true love like they always say
my dad always tells me stories
of the past and i wonder
what it looked like in color
Author notes
true story of when i was little. i would stay up half the night listening to my dad telling me stories of his past and we would look at the pictures.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is really nice -- for real.
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A fine and most nostalgic piece, warm and heartfelt and very deftly done short poem!
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thats awesome as. Its like you read it fast and it sounds awesome.
I like
"not showing the first signs of me
i wonder if it could be
true love like they always say"
I think this is really good. awesome write. -
the colour of your mind and feelings will give colours to these pictures this is a beautiful poem with a beautiful senterment behind it '
you are lucky to have these memoryies -
i love this one
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i agree with zt. lovely poem
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Well I am quite impressed by this. I liked the way you built this little story up so that the ending suited it. I would bet you had the ending in mind first. No? As for criticism...hmm... In L6 you need a space to seperate "eachother", but that is really just a typo. In L10, I would lose "always". You used it in L9 to more effect and to have it in both lines seems repetitious. Those are the only two negatives to me in an otherwise beautiful piece.
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