picture this
a winter bliss
within two snowflakes fall
one falls first
the other fast
neither knowing, chasing chance
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And at last
one snowflake asks
"could we warm up by the fire?"
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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lol, that is kind of funny, you know it is cold when the snow asked to be warmed up, keep it flowing
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Excellent
A rather cute write. Poor snowflake, he die by the fire. Thanks for the smile. I really enjoyed this one, my friend.
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Brilliant!
I loved these snippets of thought
drifting ever so softly down the page
to a priceless conclusion
Your 'Snowflake Romance' breathes whimsicle magic to an ordinary event. Brilliant musing, creative and charming!
Let the ink flow!
blessings, sandi
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HOW CREATIVE!!!
This is a wonderful poem I loved this
Well done.
Delila
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This is probably one of the cutest poems that I have read in a long time that made me smile. I loved how you used the asterisks as snowflakes and the background actually looking similar to a blizzard.
Nice poem, I enjoyed it. -
aww..this is cute. I like how you demonstrated it with the stars ... and i agree with lateralus' comment
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Lovely
Sweet... I really like how the snowflake will sacrafice both their existance for just that moment of a cuddle by the warm fire. Brilliant!
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How adorable and yet profound. I like how the asterisks appear to be together for a short time during their fall. Nice twist.
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Hehe. This is the cutest poem of my life. I usually despise the use of asteriks and the like in poetry, but this is lovely. really lovely.
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Wow! Such a well written short poem. It is filled with much humor at the end. I love the idea of how you used the asteriks as snowflakes. Adorable and very funny with the line:
"could we warm up by the fire?"
hahaha. Love this!!!!!!! Excellent job!
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This is adorable! I love it. An unexpected chuckle! Thanks for this!
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Excellent poem, it is short, but thats not bad. Its power is not within the length but its heart felt message. Keep it up!!
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i feel jipped...this was good, but too short. and it was ridiculously good for how short it was. cute idea, with the asterisks being snowflakes. and the sarcasm and cynicism at the end was an interesting "Joe" touch...
you did good, dude. i'm going to type mine today, and we shall see how it goes. its alot longer than this is....
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interesting....very interesting. But, you're standing right next to me, and you just told me not to leave a comment. Write another
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i LOVE this... WOW...
first of all... ya, dont worry i'll try not to delve into detail.
BUT, first i really liked you just saying picture this at the beginning... like.. here it comes, prepare for it or close your eyes and put yourself into my storyline... i dunno.. just liked that.
and then SOOO much life in it.. like a dancing of love. and snowflakes are the perfect things to use... the pureness of that first snow mixed with a little dust
and then the fall....
it is like a blizzard where everything moves around in a fast and furious motion, yet these two good naturedly begin their fall, not paying attention to how the world around expects their love to be... one first and then the other, with neither knowing that they are really falling... and once they realize, they dont want to be apart.. but to melt into one.
i just really really like this. its so lighthearted and certainly has that style of yours that makes the reader want to float along... yet, it seems to carry with it a profound ... ok, maybe profound is too strong a word.. but that meaning behind that is more than animated snowflakes.
it also pulls some humor in it.. for me at least... at the end... sorta like... a pick up line.
lucky for you i didn't delve into detail.
one of my favs. try writing a bad one... i dare you. no, i double dare you.
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. . .As they melt away in their folly
Pretty cool. I like the story of the two snowflakes.
Great use of asterisks
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This is so poignant, and I love the concrete use of the asterisks throughout the second and last stanzas. It was clever and creative. I find a quaint playfulness in the lines, enhanced through rhyme, which is very reminiscent of old childhood rhymes. This rings in the holiday season with a spirited delight, and the thoughtful simplicity and imagery only lend to the pure poetry read here.
Keep 'em coming.
Smiling
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Thanx so much for the awesome comment! It means a lot to have that much feeback, especialy on a random poem! I'll be sure to stop by and return the favor soon
thanx -
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It was my pleasure to read it. It actually wasn't a random selection as the title intrigued me. I am glad that I clicked on it and got a chance to read it. I found it to be refreshing.
Brit
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