Love

I really loved you. There were times when I thought about you so much, that the biggest things I had accomplished...failed to set distractions; I still thought of you. And now that I can't keep doing this, wasting time...I wish to wait; wait, like there might be some chance that you will feel the same. I realize that you won't now. Reality sets in, and I am left feeling worthless. I think, how will I do anything? Every single thing that I cross, pass, endure...was once with you. Everything that I do, brings up a memory. How am I supposed to move on, when everything...anything...that I do is in relation to you, us? It drives me crazy. Even worse, you never took the time to fully understand me, to get where I stand. I didn't love you like a girl loves a temporary, adolesence boyfriend...I loved you for being an individual. I appreciated you. I did not need you, I knew that I could live with out you...but the bitter feeling was always left when you weren't happy with me, or with me in general. I knew, that when we were together...things were better, I was happier. Nobody can fake the smiles that you gave off, nobody can fake how much fun that we had together, the conversations, it is impossible. So, for you to tell me...that this doesn't exist...it makes me laugh. How can you, who made this all happen...tell me that what I am feeling isn't real? I have surfaced every emotion in your presence. I have lived in every angle that I can create...and still you do not believe. What were those kisses on my cheeks as we walked in parking lots, left by entrances...exits? What were those looks...that crept deep into my own eyes, that left off smiles...every chance we got. What were those pointless conversations, the important ones? I look at you...to see what you are created from...and after an honest examination...I realize nothing. You are just like every other animal that walks...you are a brain...a heart; and once dead, you are NOTHING. Why am I so dependent on you? Why am I feeling like this ALL the time? It has lasted for months. And you tell me that I am to young, you tell me that this is just a phase. I don't love you like anything more then a human being loves another, not for sex...not for the feeling of happiness...not for security, I love you for your actions...what you accomplish, what makes you...you. How can you not understand how this works? Not understand that this is rare. No other, will look at you in the eyes and give off that same smile, nobody else will be so happy. People can attempt to live up to what this was, but in honesty it will never be replicated. In honesty it was simply you and I, it came naturally...and you were in denial. Look at us now, we are nothing but two animals.