My love for you burns like a meager
ember, nestled amidst the barren
ashes of the once tempest
hearth. Sweltering fires of
passion and unrequited
love, extinguished to a
smoking cinder,
embedded within my chest.
Oh how I pray for flame to engulf
my soul once more. To rise above the cold,
bleak ashes and to again ignite my lust.
My love for you is like the early winter
snowfall, cascading across the damp, brown
soil on a warm December night.
Snowflakes dancing in the
air before their fateful
dawn, when daybreak betrays their
innocence. Oh, how I pray for the sun to abandon the
dawn. To let the beauty and the passion of the
snowflake be unbound.
But fate it seems- has
precipitated our demise- and like the
sun, our love shall rise- for one last
night, before the dawn.
A contest entry
- Give me Love by Catie Sheeran.
900 points, ended November 8, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suzyque needs to know...Is Love Alive....Show me...Past Present, Future by SuZyCuE.
900 points, ended December 11, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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"Oh how I pray for flame to engulf
my soul once more. "
>what does a soul on fire feel like?
"To rise above the cold,
bleak ashes and to again ignite my lust."
>sounds like seether lyrics here but in an orignal way. "rise above this" to rise above the cold.. is it possible? heh we never really forget the past..
"Snowflakes dancing in the
air before their fateful
dawn, when daybreak betrays their
innocence."
>wow.. this is extremely symbolic and an amazing metophor..
damn good poem.
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a soul on fire feels... painful... but at least it feels something
Which was kind of the point of the poem, that the now "barren hearth" wants to be ignited again. Its kind of a love poem/ kind of a breakup poem at the same time.
And Im not familiar with seether but thanks for the comparison, I'm glad you liked the poem. -
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then again can you feel your soul at all?
is that the thing that hurts when you've been betrayed by a lover?
the heart cannot feel therefore the soul must and time and time again
wears upon the soul till we feel nothing. But we can never feel nothing.
You should check out Seether.. You might enjoy the lyrics/meaning/voice.
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Beautifully written, LOVED the metaphor.
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Pretty
this is so pretty, I could have sworn I saw flames and snow.
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Beautiful poem. I loved the metaphors and imagery, absolutely brilliant. Can't choose favorite parts, but I really liked the last stanza. Well deserved gold trophy, for sure. Original idea, and magnificently penned. It made me really reconsider love poems. Normally they're cliche, but this one was so unexpected and different from your typical love poem. Great job and good luck in the contest!
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Thank you, I'm glad you like it!
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nice. I love toying with the idea of fate, and you did it very well. Good luck in the contest. Keep on writing, ~TC
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very lovely,
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whew! great job on this one! congrats on gold!
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*sigh* I love this piece...so full of passion and romance. my favorite is the first stanza...*sigh* (again) the entire poem flows flawlessly ...great work
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