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Pieces on the Floor

Laughing and smiling
We all thrived so well
Little did we know
It was about to become Hell

At first it was minor
Nothing to worry
Then it grew larger
Turning to fury

Screaming and crying
We split in two
Dividing my heart
Our good days became few

I constantly wished
For that white flag to rise
My only answer
Was just more despise

People changed
Groups were decided
They seemed okay
But my heart was divided

Now my heart stays
In Pieces on the Floor
For I have fears
Of what is in store

Oh, just sit there so calmly
We all see the tension in the air
It's just so confusing
Does anyone care?!

But I believe you can.
I believe you do.
I believe WE can.
Do you believe it's true?

Author notes

Option #1: Make me feel your pain. If there is something you're going through, and feel the need to get it out in poetry, go right ahead. Please make it something actually serious though. I dont want to hear about how your cat has fleas (unless you can make it funny, and tasteful) or how your 11 years old, and the love of your life left you.

Pedro the Pepper-Eating Parrot =D
*************

A little something from my teenage social life...."Friends argue, friends fight, but in the end, nothing else can win over pure friendship,".....I love you guys.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Lyndon gold member
    May 2

    Edit | Reply

    This is a cry from the heart

    and not really a stroll down memory lane.
    Also, when you have a rhyme scheme, you need constant syllabic count to the line or at least an underlining rhythmical meter.
    I read your poem with interest.
    Thank you for entering.


  • Shrat
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. Thanks for rhyming, everyone has done so much better with that this contest, really maks me want to hold more. I like what you described, and the way you ended it with a feeling of hope. Thanks for entering the contest, best of luck!!


  • cbsbecm88
    November 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ummm...BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! (very subtle too, lol)
    nuf said