Oh what a tangled web of deceit my life is now
Proteus loves another, she's a butt ugly cow
Thought he had fooled me when he left, giving me his ring
Now I find that to another, songs of love he sings.
What a lousy, bullshitting bastard he is, I say
I'd never have caught him out had I not dressed this way
What's more, he stole my dress and THAT tart is wearing it
She is wearing OUR f***ing ring I gave to HIM...SHIT
Silvia's her name and the plot thickens now you see
I'm dressed as Sabastian,Proteus doesn't know me
Thinking I'm HIS lackie, he sends me to her with note
She gets all shitty and seems she'd like to grab his throat
It seems she loves another, Valentine is his name
He's out in the forest, King of the outlaws his fame
Treking 'round the forest now,Proteus makes a move
Throwing himself on Silvia, his manhood to prove
Along comes Valentine, to save her so it did seem
But he hands her back to Proteus...what a weird scheme
All a bit too much for me now I have to confess
I fainted at the sight of her wearing my torn dress
So this is were this sordid tale now comes to an end
My cover's blown so no longer on errands me he'll send
He seems to now remember, that he loves me NOT HER
So Silvia gets her man...ME Proteus prefers
Author notes
My prompt is 'Proteus stole my dress'
A TOTALLY slaughtered version of 'The Two Gentemen of Verona' by Shakespeare (I reckon he'll be turning in his grave about now)
In a list
A contest entry
- Time for some laughs, Name Prompt. by Rob..
900 points, ended November 30, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Hahahaha
Love it!, you took the prompt and ran with it...
Great job, I know the story well so I was smiling through the whole thing, you even tried some "old english", which was a nice addition...
Thank you for this, it was a pleasure to read....
*adds to finalists list*
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This is great ...I found it humorous...I hope thats ok...I kept thinking of your face image of the dragon...i think it is so cute and fits this poem well...lol. Great work
I really enjoyed this rea~
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Yes...it is supposed to be humorous (I hope
) Thanks so much for your comment and happy s 
I really appreciate it 
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lol actually my fave part was your authors comment but the poem was fantastic. i did read this contest but was too hard for me to enter... i got brain constipation over it lol. but u have really pulled this one off.. good luck with the contest,
hugs,
georgie,
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Thank You
Brain constipation is an understatement
I NEVER thought I'd be sent off to read Shakespeare all in the name of a contest requirement Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I really appreciate it
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You did a wonderful job portraying this piece I loved it!!
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Thank you so much!
I'm pleased you liked this one
I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment
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This is superbly executed, and very very funny, you gave me a much needed chuckle today thankyou for sharing
littlefishone
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Thank You
I appreciate you taking the time to read, comment and applaude Glad it made you chuckle 
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hehe
i sense some deep-seated truth behind this lol, very funny
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Thanks for taking the time to read my poem. I appreciate it greatly and thanks also for the generous applause
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Great Imagery
Laughed all the way thru it. I just hate it when someone steals myy dress.
Joe
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I'm so pleased it made you laugh. Thank you for taking the time to read, comment and applaude
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Very nice and full of humor, I thought so anyway. Its interesting how this story folds out; He loves her, she loves him, but he loves somebody else. *looks up
did I say that right * Anyway, very nicely written
ASM
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Thank You
I appreciate you taking the time to read, comment and applaude
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Lol Loved it You are certainly writing outside those lines!
A great piece. All the best with this
Gaylene
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loved the butt ugly cow *LOL* nah Shakespeare would be laughin...one thing though I would have gone after Valintine and left proteus in the dust *LOL* but that's just me...
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Thanks for your great comment and happy s I really appreciate you taking the time to read my poem
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What a prompt! You did well, I laughed at the pomo recap.
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Thanks for taking the time to read this VERY silly poem
I appreciate your comment and happy s
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are you really?
lol, it's early, what can I say?...
Ah, I see the first thing that comes up is "youthful"..., I even found one meaning saying "down-bearded youth"...man, could have fun with that one no?...lol
Is Jewel a nickname?, it has a Latin reference also, meaning "Julius", you know, I Love them Orange Julius's...
But I think again I have to go Shakespeare on this, since he indeed used the name in a play....got to give it a twist tho...
"Proteus stole my dress!"
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Hmmmm....
Well...now I REALLY need to get my thinking cap on don't I Jules is indeed short for Julie...actually my name is Julie-Anne, but only family call me that, so I'm Jules to most who know me
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