In torrid times the heart is apt to steal
A single spell with influence most real
With chimes afoot that set the mind at rest
For those who summon ghouls at their behest
As copper casting bells ring out the day
And rhymes bear what the bitter brain can't say
I beg you sweet Louise don't take my soul
For you alone can make my music whole
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Oh, so lovely, so mysterious and so wonderful!
"As copper casting bells ring out the day..."
What a great line! I loved it and I love, of course, the poem!!! Bravo!
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Hmm...
Vivid, ethereal images..of sounds and silent thoughts...and music...
nice stuff...
Louise?
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brilliant
behest is an intelligent word to use, well done, the whole poem makes the mind work, i like it very much. please keep entering contests because you are so talented. -
A lovely poem with wonderful rhyme and flow. Alot said in a few lines of great imagery. Take care. Sandy
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i love these short little poems that say everything in no space at all. i like all the musical references.
for some reason i think of this poem in a minor key. if that makes sense.
nicely done ^_^
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I love this poem. Everything from the structure of it to the way you work in the words works brilliantly. Congratulations on penning a wonderful poem!
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I like this. You make rhyming couplets work very well. I like the synergy of "chimes" and "bells" with the poem as a whole.
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"And rhymes bear what the bitter brain can't say" = excellent, definitely my favourite line.
Very nice alliteration, rhyme and flow are pretty much spotless as always.
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You show your deep feelings very well here.Your need for this person are very real for you and you take so much to heart in what this person has to say and feel.If I were to revise this I think I would add how this person feels about you or how you hope this person feels about you.The title is very effective and the last line speaks volumes.Good job on getting out your feelings and getting the reader to relate to how you feel.
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Rhythmic and beautiful!!
I know Louise is reading this right now and is very proud! As usual, your poetry has the flow of wine that quenches its reader. You are such a magnificent poet!!!
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Who Louise?
A bitter-sweet poem of loss that surprises. -
Stephanie,
~As copper casting bells ring out the day
And rhymes bear what the bitter brain can't say
Out-standing work. Wish I had a gold throphy to give.
Joe
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I love the line, "And rhymes bear what the bitter brain can't say". Just referring to the brain as being bitter makes this poem so powerful. I'm not sure that I really understand the meaning behind this poem, but I do know that I like that particular line and I'm glad that I got the opportunity to read your poem. =] I hope to read more of yours and hopefully I'll understand the next one a little better. I think I may just be tired.
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To be honest I don't understand it myself - was just words that came from my pen. Glad you liked it - sorry it left you puzzled :-)
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Oh. Well I'm not puzzled anymore. If it's not supposed to mean anything I'm glad I didn't find a meaning. That might be slightly bizarre.
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